The Revenge of Jusenkyo
by Noy Telin'u
Summary: Jusenkyo is angry. The ward of Nerima has been abusing its 'children'. Time to see how they would like to be cursed. Time for revenge, Jusenkyo-style. No one is safe from being cursed. What does your favorite character turn into? Complete.
1. Prologue

The Revenge of Jusenkyo

~Noy Telinú~

**Attention:** Ranma ½ was made by Rumiko Takahashi and its anime is licensed by Viz media in North America. Noy doesn't own any of it and makes no profit from writing this. The following is a fan fiction short story written by Noy for the purpose of amusement and creative thinking. Noy has no intention to use this in any way or form to make money on the Ranma ½ brand. This is for all purposes a parody of such, to answer the questions the manga and/or anime left open to interpretations to the fans. Readers are on notice to not quote this or other fan fiction in arguments on discussing Ranma ½ canon interpretations and characters/characterizations. This is fan fiction, not to be taken as part of Rumiko Takahashi's or Viz media's work. As such, fan fiction is done by fans and therefore is in no shape or form perfect on getting characters/locations/canon story/behaviors/situations or anything in Ranma ½ correct. Noy does go on the record of making 100% effort to get it as close as possible. However, since this is fan fiction it is biased… this is obvious.

**Warning:** this story is bound to get insane, hence, the title and work its coming from. Those who are queasy of reading things about skunks and living water, this is your last warning. It will get insane. Very insane.

**No!:** this curses a lot of characters with Jusenkyo, including your favorite (maybe). do not read if you want them to be cursed free. Unless, you don't care and want to try it out to see what its like, like a phase... oh, shoot.

You have been warned...

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Prologue:

It's Alive!

It was the 388th day that Ranma has lived in Nerima. Things haven't changed much at all since the most epic failed wedding ever. Akane still had problems talking to Ranma about her feelings; Ranma still put his foot in mouth, Shampoo, Ukyo, and Kodachi still haven't given up on Ranma either. Things were on the verge of changing though. Yes, very much. For unbeknownst to everyone in that one district of Tokyo, something very deadly was being cooked up at one of the most hated places that is known… Jusenkyo.

The many springs of Jusenkyo are full of life, magical life. They take the different bodies of what drowned there as templates to curse on those deserving. However, due to recent events, the springs merged together to form a lake. The lake didn't last long, since the waters receded and the springs restored. But, there was a consequence of that happening, along with all the fighting that happened there, it got a new spouse.

The spring of drowned Akane was the first new spring in 55 years. Now, Jusenkyo can learn about what happened in that time… it didn't like what it saw. You see, Jusenkyo is alive in a way, how else can it adopt its children with the right lesson? Every time something drowns at the spring, Jusenkyo gains its knowledge and memories, as well as their image. Since Akane drowned at the spring, Jusenkyo gained information on its children from the last 20 years, and was not happy on how they were treated.

Each of the cursed bodies are the decedents of Jusenkyo since it combines the magic with the template to create a body. To see that its recent children are being abused this badly irritates the Magical water. Like an overprotective father, Jusenkyo declared revenge on those that harm those who are cursed. Especially for those who harmed that one from a little over a year ago, Ranma Saotome. That was Jusenkyo's favorite daughter, and all of those people harmed her in so many ways. That can't be left unpunished. Jusenkyo can't wait for them to come to it, so it would have to come to them.

But there were so many! Jusenkyo needed to curse all those who tortured its children. In the way Jusenkyo thinks, that means cursing them itself. Let's see how they like it. It had to be done right though. Cursing randomly is not its way. Therefore, when the springs were together, some Jusenkyo water seeped out and took a shape of a man, and then it stretched its arms, moving for the first time in years. The water then fell down and took the shape of a moving puddle as is went into the guide's hut to mail itself. Although, the actual mailing took a while since Jusenkyo had to think on who to curse when the water receded. That and trying to put stamps on a package while being living water delayed it for a bit.

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On that day, that 388th day since Ranma came to Nerima, a package arrived at the Tendo home for a Genma Saotome. It read:

To: Genma Saotome

From: Jusenkyo guide

Contains: Jusenkyo water.

Getting the man in question's attention, the package was ripped open and a vial of water was in his hands. Quickly, he ran to the furo and poured the contents in. after disrobing, Genma climbed into the water… and turned into a panda. Furious that it was a lie, Genma climbed out to beat up his son; after all, Ranma was getting sloppy by not fighting to the death for the past 23 days.

The water however, began assimilating the furo in order to get its revenge!

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A shiver went up Ranma's back as he came home with Akane. Something was defiantly wrong. He didn't know what, but it was bad… very bad.

"Ranma? Are you ok?" Akane asked him as they came home.

"Huh? Me? It's nothing… I hope."

"Are you sure? You do remember what we agreed on last week about keeping stuff from each other."

"I know, I know, I came up with it so that you would listen to me!"

"Hey! It's not me who goes and gets myself into perverted stuff!"

"And I told you it's not my fault! It's not like I can choose to be the right gender! Water comes after me!"

"Yeah, ok, maybe, but its not like you help trying to stay dry!"

"Oh, just like you don't try to kill people with your cooking!"

"I'm getting better! That's more than what you do about your curse!"

"I do try to get cured! It's just that the world doesn't want me to! Besides, you don't know how it's like! How would you like it to change at the touch of water?"

Akane cringed; she keeps forgetting how much Ranma can't control his curse, mostly because Akane doesn't see it as a curse… at times. "Yeah, yeah, it sucks. I don't know, but can't you do better about this? Maybe look to find a way to control it instead of curing it?"

"I don't know, you deserve a whole man when you are married. Not that I want to…"

Akane rolled her eyes, they were getting better at acknowledging that they care for each other, but it was still a long way to go. "Right Ranma, right. Like I can be with someone who's a jerk anyway. What's wrong with me?"

"I… Uh.. nothing… uh… Ack!"

Genma was a human again and attacked his son when he walked into the Tendo property.

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The furo water glowed as it was completed. This would make it enough that anyone taking a bath would become cursed to be what fits them the most. Although, since there were those who want to be cured here, the Jusenkyo water was forced to leave the spring of drowned man behind. Not that it had a choice since it is the one that was the farthest away from the rest, hidden near bamboo on the Amazon side of the valley; thus not mixing with the rest of the springs when it flooded.

'No matter.' The living water thought. 'Turning them into men is too cliché. A simple gender change is too obvious to do. They would expect that.'

Mentally, the water went over who deserved to be cursed. 'All those in this house, hmmm… maybe not Kasumi… if I do curse her, then it needs to be a helpful curse that she'll like. Let's see, that Ukyo girl needs to get cursed, as well as those Kunos. Heh hee, that old crone Cologne could be knocked down a few pegs, it's only fair. At least a dozen can be cursed. I have enough for that. Ho, ho! Someone is coming in now! A Tendo girl! This is it! This is the start of my revenge. Let's see how you like to be cursed, my child…'

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**Authors' notes:** this will curse many people… but who is the first 'victim'? Guess! Anyway, Noy plans to use this as a starting point once it's completed for those who want to have everyone cursed. I am a bit iffy. I guess it depends on who gets what curse, but Noy assured me that they would be different than others before. I guess that I can be a help on this. Oh wow! Now that is an awesome curse for that person on whom I won't tell you because I am like that! It's definitely different. That's for sure. Texty likey…


	2. Akane

The Revenge of Jusenkyo

~Noy Telinú~

**Warning: **this story is messed up. If you don't want to read about you favorite characters becoming cursed, then do not read. Noy will be cursing at least 12 people, so not very likely that your favorite will be not cursed.

**Caution:** this is fanfiction. As suck, not canon. However, Noy says you can use this as a starting point in your own fics, just remember that its fanon. Noy doesn't want another stupid thing like Akane's mallet being the only one that is used all the time. That is terrible.

**Cross:** other fictional work is in this story besides Ranma. However, it is not enough, not even anywhere close enough, to put this in a crossover category. More like that little thing from there, that from this, a little of that, and that character, but not really. that sort of thing. I really like a few of the curses myself. That one is awesome! Err… move along, move along.

You have been warned…

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Chapter 1: Akane

Akane Tendo, heir of the Tendo school of Anything Goes Martial Arts, was cleaning up herself for her soak in the furo. She is unaware of the danger of the inner bath.

"Honestly." She says to herself. "They find any reason to fight. Ranma did remind me of something though, if I were cursed, what would I be cursed to turn into? Nah, I shouldn't think of that. I really wouldn't want to be a boy." She shivers. "That would be really bad. I… I like being a girl. I'm trying to be more of a girl, to take that away… maybe that's what Ranma feels. Oh, I'm such an idiot, of course that's how he feels." A guilty look swept across her face as she realized that she has been treating Ranma too badly after all.

Shaking her head, she walked into the inner bath and slipped into the furo.

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"Stupid Pop, attacking me just like that." Ranma, female again, asked herself while ringing out her shirt on the roof. "Too bad Ryoga hasn't been around in a while, although, I guess it's good that P-chan is also gone. What Akane doesn't know wouldn't hurt her right? Besides, it's not like she can just get a Jusenkyo curse and realize that on her own."

Ranma doesn't know how right she is at the moment.

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Akane was happy coming out of her bath. That nice warm water made her feel really good for some reason. Although it did disturb her to feel a tingly sensation all over her body, but it must be nothing. Besides she felt better already. As she passed Nabiki in the hallway, she felt dread come over her for some reason.

"I hope no one is out to kidnap me today. Its Ranma's turn for the next kidnapping! It says so on my frequent kidnapping card!" she pulled out her card and it showed ten hole-punches and two more at the top. There was a line that said for every 5 kidnappings of Akane, Ranma gets one.

Nabiki, rolling her eyes about her sister's kidnapping life, went to take a bath, not knowing it was about to change her life forever.

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The Jusenkyo water snickered as Nabiki came into the outer bath. 'And here comes the second one. I hope Akane likes what I gave her. Too bad I can't see it for myswelf until she gets wet. Oh well, I can do that after I curse Nabiki here. Hmm… I see a… oooh. This reflects her.' The water would have grinned evilly, but that would give it away.

Nabiki felt a chill go up her back, but dismissed it.

"Nothing a relaxing soak in the furo can't fix. Hope Akane gets over that kidnapping thing, she's not cursed to be kidnapped; I mean it's only been what, 12 times? Get over it sis."

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Akane was in the kitchen, getting herself a glass of water when Ranma walked in.

"Hey Akane, is there any hot water around?" A still female Ranma asked.

"No, the kettle is not hot enough; give it a few more minutes."

Ranma sighed. "Hey, where's Kasumi anyway?"

"I don't know. Hey, if Kasumi doesn't come around, then maybe I'll make dinner tonight!" Akane was going to take a sip of water, but was laughing too much and accidentally launched the glass of water into the air.

Ranma cringed at the thought of Akane's cooking, but then her eyes went wide after something happened right in front of her.

*splash* water hit not Ranma, but Akane this time.

Although what made Ranma bug eyed was not that, no, it was the fact that Akane changed, instead of Akane the high school girl, it was Akane… the… monkey.

"Eek!" Akane said things that are common for monkeys.

That wasn't it though, this was no ordinary monkey. Akane was a Capuchin monkey, with the hair on top of her head blue instead of black. That and something else, something that Ranma wouldn't know unless she sees it herself.

"A-A-Akane?" Ranma stuttered.

"Eek!" Went Akane, freaking out.

"What happened to you!" Ranma was panicking, pulling her red hair.

"Ack!"

"How! Why! Akane! You got a curse! How did this happen?"

"Eeck Ack ooh ah eck!"

"This is bad. This-is-bad. Thisisbad." Ranma spewed.

"Eeck!"

"I know! This is bad! But I can't understand you! Uh… um…"

*whistle* went a kettle.

Ranma grabbed it and poured it on Akane, turning her back into the girl she knew.

"Ah hot hot hot!" Akane shrieked.

Ranma poured the rest on himself as the two were back to normal.

"Ranma! Do you mind!" Akane yelled as Ranma realized that Akane was naked right then.

Turning around Ranma apologized. "Sorry-sorrysorry! Uh, Akane, what happened? How did you get a Jusenkyo curse?"

"I don't know Ranma, I'm scared. I have a curse now too! What am I going to do? I'm a freak now! A monkey freak!" Akane then cried in a way that would make her father proud… that doesn't seem right for some reason.

Ranma pulled in Akane. "It's alright, we'll find a cure, besides you're not a freak Akane, it just means that you have a curse just like I do. Now, how did this happen?"

"I… I don't know. This is the first time this happened… I just took a bath right now… but I didn't change then. The water was warm. But, that was the last time I touched water… you don't think?"

Ranma saw something sticking out of the trashcan… curious, he saw a ripped packaged addressed to his father.

"Oh no… Pop got Jusenkyo water… which means…"

"I only changed now… the water must be…"

"In the furo!" they screamed in unison.

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Soun Tendo looked into the kitchen when he heard his daughter crying. When he saw the two teens hugging, he slipped away, remember what happened the last time he waited for them to do something.

Now, he was playing Shogi with Genma, a bit relived.

"Your move Saotome."

[It's the master!] A panda sign from nowhere read.

Soun quickly turned around to see nothing, when he turned back, the board looked… different.

[My bad.] Flip [Just seeing things.]

"Saotome, I… is that a bronze medal!"

Genma turned around to see nothing.

"Hurry!" Ranma called as he ran past them.

"I know! Nabiki's in there now!" Akane came behind him.

Genma shrugged and looked at the board… it changed.

[Angry Akane!]

"Where!" Soun panicked as he turned around, expecting to see Akane that passed by, only finding nothing.

[Never mind.] The sign said.

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Nabiki put one foot out of the bath to come face to face with Ranma when he opened the door to the inner bath.

"Hey!" Nabiki said as she slip back into the water. "What's with you!"

"Nabiki! Jusenkyo…" Ranma said before he was pulled back by the pigtail.

"Nabiki! That's Jusenkyo water!" Akane screamed as she came into the inner bath.

"What are you talking about?" Nabiki asked as she sat in the furo.

"Just, get dressed and meet us in my room, we have to talk." Akane walked out, dragging Ranma by the pigtail.

Nabiki looked at herself, and then shrugged as she got dressed. 'And Akane lost it… go figure.'

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**Author's notes:** yes… a monkey, but not just any monkey… a special monkey! Guess! Guess!

Come on! Its really special… come on! Which Capuchin monkey is awesome and special? Come on! Noy said this is easy to guess. I know… but do you? And Nabiki? What's it going to be? Hmmm... what fits Nabiki? No, not a skunk, or a cat, dog, or duck. Something else. But what? Want to know? Then you must tune in next time on The Revenge of Jusenkyo! I'm Text.


	3. Nabiki

The Revenge of Jusenkyo

~Noy Telinú~

**Warning:** I hear that they fanfic on dot net. Very fast, very dangerous. I can write them too you know. I'm the only text that can do it. Wait, wait, wait… let me see that script. Noy, LET ME SEE THAT SCRIPT! Oh, yeah, I forgot… there is no script… moving on.

**Ha Ha!:** this involves Jusenkyo curse ratio to increase tremendously. Laugh at their expense.

**Caution:** this involves water. Some can't survive in water. Their molecular density is too great.

**Hey!:** this references other series. Noy likes doing that, especially if you read Noy's other stories. But remember, in the canon, none of this happens, that means the springs, living Jusenkyo water, and what characters like. So, don't think its true, read the manga, watch the anime. Don't rely on Noy. Or Telinú will get you.

You have been warned…

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Chapter 2: Nabiki

"What?" Nabiki asked; her arms crossed over her chest. "I think you lost it Akane. If that was Jusenkyo water, than why am I still human?"

Ranma, who doesn't like Nabiki anyway, got it over with by tossing a glass of water at her.

Even though Akane knew it would happen, her eyes widened when Nabiki shrank; although, that could be because she didn't turn into a monkey. Instead, there was a red fox in the room.

"Bahckk!" Nabiki was in shock on what was happening to her. 'Ahhh! I'm… I'm… a fox! Things aren't supposed to happen to me! This is all Ranma's fault!'

The fox with a bit longer than normal fur around her head was yapping at Ranma now.

"Hey I didn't do it! Well, not originally, but, you know what I mean!" Ranma tried to speak to Nabiki.

"That water in the bathtub is mixed, or something like that!" Akane pointed out.

"Hmm… so a monkey and a fox in the family, they really reflect you guys too." Ranma observed, putting a hand to his chin.

"Ranma! Why you!" She pulled a mallet from out of nowhere. "Idiot!"

"Ahhh! The mallet! Why is it always a mallet!"

That caused Akane to stop a centimeter from Ranma's head. "What do you mean every time? This is hardly ever used!"

"Bakk Backhkk!" Nabiki tried to talk, secretly cursing in fox.

"Huh?" Ranma asked, confused. "I always thought it was, even the people at school say so."

"What! Are you brain damaged! I only used this 4 times! Or was it 8? Still, you use one more than me!" Akane screamed.

"Bak! Barack!" went fox Nabiki.

"What? Really?" Ranma asked, genuinely. "I guess those certain people at school were wrong. I should have guessed, they hate you anyway, so of course they are going to do that."

"Who hates me?"

"Ah… I can't remember. Anyway, so… um… yeah, Nabiki is a fox now… so… welcome to the club?"

"Bahkk!" Nabiki continued to swear in fox.

Ranma raised an eyebrow on how Nabiki was looking so evilly at him. "I guess that means 'This is your fault Ranma!' right?"

Akane put the mallet away, never to be used again because the people at school are so stupid. Really stupid. Like 'come on, really?' stupid. This distraction made Akane forget that she was supposed to be mad at Ranma and instead poured boiling hot tea all over Nabiki.

"Ahhh! That's Hot! Hothothot! Ssss ahh!" Nabiki seethed in pain.

Akane narrowed her eyes. "Ranma! Why is it filled with tea?"

"It was there on the stove ok? Besides, after torturing me with water, I figured I get payback." Ranma explained.

"You… are so dead… Saotome." Nabiki seethed, still not realizing that she's naked.

Ranma's eyes widened as he caught the sight of Nabiki in the nude. Rapidly thinking of a plan, Ranma bravely ran away on a note. "The bathtub! We have to make sure no one gets in!" Ranma bravely ran away. To the bathroom… to, you know, guard the cure water, err, Jusenkyo water… yeah.

Akane's eyes widened as well and she followed Ranma.

Nabiki was now naked in Akane's room…alone.

"Hey… wait a minute!" Nabiki said to an empty room once she realized that she was naked.

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Once in the bathroom, Ranma dove into the furo, clothes and all, and came up, as a girl.

Ranma sighed as the cold water didn't cure her. Feeling a need to get rid of this weird Jusenkyo water, she let it drain out, taking the cursed water away, as to not effect anyone else.

"Ranma!" Akane called as she caught up to Ranma.

"I drained it Akane. We don't have to worry about it cursing anyone else. What I want to know is how it got here."

"How was I supposed to know? It was here when I got here! And it still doesn't make sense that I turn into a monkey!" Akane screamed.

"Hey, maybe it spring of drowned anything powder? I didn't do it! Who took a bath before you?"

"Well, if anything it must have been…" Akane started before a panda wanders in.

[Um…] flip [Carry on at] flip [Whatever you were doing.] the panda signs displayed before he backed out of the room.

A few seconds after he left, Ranma thought of something. "Hey Pop! Did you get Jusenkyo water recently?"

The panda in question froze right outside the door. [Y-no. Of course not.] flip [Why aren't you male?] flip [Your mother should be coming home soon.]

"Don't change the subject! You got Jusenkyo water didn't you! Stupid pop! Now Akane and Nabiki are cursed!"

[The water worked?] flip [Err… there are more Pandas around?]

Akane, who was steaming, took the chance to clobber Genma with his own signs. It was Genma's fault that she was cursed! She will make him pay. "Idiot! You put Jusenkyo water in the furo? Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" Akane kept pummeling the panda into the ground.

Ranma, capitalizing on the fact that she wasn't the target of Akane's wrath, slipped away to be somewhere else, like the kitchen.

"Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" Akane kept bashing the panda.

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The water, which escaped the furo, was now swishing its way to the kitchen where it found Kasumi making dinner. Now, the water doesn't hate Kasumi, not at all, so it was turning to leave when Ranma came in.

"Kasumi, is there any hot water?"

"Not yet Ranma. I thought you already had some, you took the tea." Kasumi frowned a little.

"He-he… Uh… that was for… um… well keeping secrets about this never works anyway, so… Akane and Nabiki have Jusenkyo curses now. I got rid of the water, I think. But they have different curses so there may still be more somewhere." Ranma was avoiding eye contact with Kasumi.

"Oh my! How exciting!" Kasumi smiled.

Ranma's eye twitched. "So, if you see any water that might be Jusenkyo water, be careful." Ranma backpedaled her way out of the kitchen, this is not going well.

"Oh my! I'll be careful Ranma. What are Akane and Nabiki?"

"I'm not saying! Ask yourself! Bye!" Ranma ran away, away.

"Oh my, looks like we need more hot water. I wonder if I'll be cursed… that might be fun!" Kasumi continued to cook.

The living Jusenkyo water was there, under the counter, listening to this whole thing. It didn't want to curse Kasumi, but, she might want to be cursed. 'If only I could talk to her… hmmm…' The water got an idea.

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Nabiki was now dressed and in the living room, eating potato chips, watching anime. 'That didn't happen. I was not a fox, and I certainly was not cursed to be a fox because of a bath! That didn't happen, nuh-uh. Nothing happens to me, I'm Nabiki! Ok, breathe, relax, it was just a joke, it didn't happen. Just watch some mindless anime.'

~"I take a potato chip… and eat it."~ The TV said.

"I always wondered why the Americans make that even more over the top. It's not like that can happen, eating potato chips while talking like that. In Japanese its normal, but noooo in English its messed up. Like who would do it _that_ dramatically?" Nabiki took a potato chip… *breathe in and out* and ate it!

That's when a panda came in, followed by a monkey. The water shook off their fur and gathered enough on Nabiki to turn her into a red fox.

"Bakkck! Bahck!" Nabiki yipped. 'Stupid thing was real after all! Arggg! This ruins everything! Good thing Daddy just left for that meeting, he would dehydrate himself crying if he saw this. Ok, ok, if Ranma can do this, so can I. Besides, it's not too bad. Who am I kidding, this sucks. I might as well eat more potato chips.'

The fox sat on the sofa, its mouth in the bag, eating potato chips. Some people would think it looks cute, but Nabiki didn't care, she was too depressed.

*Munch!*

Yep, very depressed…

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**Author's notes:** I like this gag, Noy. Although it doesn't make sense. Anyway, yes, Nabiki's a fox, it fits. She is the one that's out for themselves, can't be trusted, and gets away with things. It, just, fits. Any guesses on Akane being more than a normal monkey? Come on, guess. Once it's revealed, it will make better sense, trust me, I'm text. Yes, Noy likes Death note jokes. It just fits, and Noy is mad that no one made a Nabiki eating Potato chips with that sound... she eats them too! I want to see that on youtube! do it people!


	4. Kasumi

The Revenge of Jusenkyo

~Noy Telinú~

**Warning:** this is fanfiction. Oh, you knew that? Then why are there so many stupid people on the internet thinking Akane always uses a mallet! Huh? Huh? Yeah, so don't do that with Noy's work. It pisses me off too! It's like 'Oh, I'm reading this, lalalalala, good story, ok, hit, flying by mallet. Lalalalla, ok, again… and again… and again… what? It's a Ki attack? Since when? Everyone uses those #$%# mallets! It's not on Ki at all. Ok… breathe, its just one person, maybe because they felt like they needed to. It's their opinion. Only one. Don't yell. Breathe, breathe, relax… WHAT? Another one! Ok, only two… what? Another! And another, and another, and in crossovers, and another, and another! Arggggg! Why is that? What do you mean always by a mallet? She uses her fists, fists! And her feet! Arggg… did you even read the manga? Or even watch the anime? What is with you people? Nooooo!' Yeah… like that. So don't make it in every single story that an element is taken and makes everyone believe it's true. Just, don't. Please, don't. it is one thing for some to put it, but to have it end up that everyone believes that something like that happens in the source material… just, don't. And don't get Noy started on Saffron. I want to live, thank you very much. Please, for me, the text… don't accept things in fanfiction as canon… for the sake of the world, please don't. And if you are going to cross it over with another series, please know both series. Especially now with things online, you have no excuse. Please, just please get your facts straight. The more you know…

**Caution:** Noy told me to stop ranting on the fandumb. So… sorry for that. Sorta… I mean… ok, ok, fine. I'll stop. Happy? Good. It was just a warning to try to keep others from taking this and making it a Saffron kami situation. I'll read the fics, but just, please, say that you are changing things so that things are that way. Or else I'll throw a fit. Sailor Ranko is good and has that mallet thing, but it wasn't over the top 'would you stop it!' thing. Maybe that's the point… if you are taking things in Ranma ½ too seriously, then you end up giving the characters serious issues. The mallets used by EVERYONE are a throw back to Loony Tunes type of comedic affect, not to be taken seriously. Why are you looking at me like that? I know! I'm trying to, but it's hard not to yell at people! Meanie Noy! Whaaa! I'm going to complain on to site and flag this. Whahhh… am I done, is it done yet? Feeling better? Yes, yes I am. I'm still on? Oh shi-

You have been warned…

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Chapter 3: Kasumi

Kasumi was minding her own business, making dinner, humming a happy tune, when she saw something on the counter. It was water, the Jusenkyo water.

"Oh, my! There is water on the counter. How did that get there?" Kasumi said to herself thoughtfully as she turned to get a rag.

Upon returning, the water has changed. Instead of a puddle, it was spelling out something.

_Kasumi? Would you want a Jusenkyo curse?_ The message said.

"Oh my!"

The water changed again. _Because I don't want to give you one. You aren't part of my vengeance, Kasumi. _

"Oh my! You are the Jusenkyo water that cursed my sisters." Kasumi leaned down to get a closer look at the water.

_Yes, yes I am. I am the living embodiment of the springs. I have come to get revenge on those who torment my children. _ The water then took an image of a miniature person.

"Oh my! Would you like some tea, Mr. Jusenkyo?" Kasumi smiled as she tilted her head.

The water collapsed and if it could look bashful, it would've. _No thank you. I can't anyway. And don't bother calling me mister, I hold no male curses currently._

"Oh my!" Kasumi put a finger to her lips then looked back down to the water. "Would you like some tea then, Auntie Jusenkyo?" Kasumi was still smiling.

_What? Wait… auntie?_ The water was confused.

"Oh yes, I just realized that if you did create Ranma's and my sister's cursed forms, then you are at least our auntie. Are you sure you can't have tea?" Kasumi was now in neutral mode.

_Well, I can't. Anyway, I don't want to curse you, but if you want a curse, then I can give one to you. Just call me Jusenkyo._

"If you insist, Miss. Jusenkyo. You can give me a curse? How exciting!" Kasumi thought the thing over for a minute. "Speaking of curses, what curses do my sisters have?"

_Akane is a special kind of Capuchin monkey and Nabiki is a red fox. I think the booklet of curses that I planned on using is in the trashcan._

Kasumi looked in the trashcan and did indeed find a Jusenkyo booklet on curses. Thumbing through it; she found what Jusenkyo was talking about.

"Oh my! Then that means Akane…" Kasumi's eyes went wide-ish. Not 'Akane's hair is short now' wide, but wider than normal nonetheless.

_It would benefit herself and Ranma greatly. Now if you excuse me, I have people to curse, things to see. There is a certain man that needs to stop crying. Sorry about that, but this needs to be done. Thank you Kasumi._ The water recombined and the blob started to slither away.

"Wait... mi-, Jusenkyo, I… I want to be cursed. It wouldn't be fair if my whole family is cursed and I'm not. Besides, it could be fun! I have a chance to be something else. So, please, curse me Jusenkyo water." Kasumi put out her hand towards the Jusenkyo water puddle on the counter.

The water reformed into words again. _With this one, it might be a blessing, Kasumi. Thank you for taking this so well._ With that it crawled up Kasumi's arm…

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Ranma sighed as she walked into the kitchen. With Akane chasing her father around, it was invertible for her to get wet. Still, at least that cursed water is gone, even though that the two younger Tendo sisters were now cursed.

"Hey, Kasumi is there hot wate-" Ranma asked as she saw what was happening in front of her. To say that she was shocked was as much of an understatement that the Sahara was sandy.

"K-K-Kasumi?" Ranma sputtered out just like a doctor she knew.

"Oh my! That tickles, Jusenkyo water." Kasumi started to glow as the change from 5'5 Japanese housewife into something much, much taller. As Kasumi glowed, Ranma could see that her clothes were different. Well, that one was hard to figure out for sure she thought, it was hard to describe, but now that Ranma's eyes recovered enough to see that Kasumi had something no human should have.

"Wings? Kasumi? **What happened?**" Ranma was freaking out. The Jusenkyo water was still around? And what was Kasumi?

"Ranma? Do you need something?"

"Kasumi! How?"

"Oh, I just asked the nice Jusenkyo water to curse me. Isn't it wonderful? My clothes have grown as well." Kasumi smiled that angelic smile.

Ranma's mouth was wide open. It made funny sounds. Unbeknownst to her, Kasumi read the book again to find out about what she was.

"Oh my!"

That brought Ranma out of her stupor. "Kasumi, what do you mean by the Jusenkyo water? Where is it?"

"It went after father. Although he isn't home yet. I wonder when he'll be here."

"Wait, wait, wait, 'it'? What do you mean 'it'?"

"The Jusenkyo water is alive to curse people for harming you and the other Jusenkyo cursed people. Although, I asked to be cursed. It was nice." Kasumi smiled.

"Oh shoot! You can't be serious!" Ranma was clutching her head. "It's alive?"

"Why yes, Ranma, although it didn't want tea. If its hot water that you want, it should be done now. What do you think of my cursed form, Ranma? The booklet says that I am a Diathim, or an angel." She smiled the widest smile that Ranma has ever seen from Kasumi.

"Uh, it's great Kasumi." Ranma poured the hot water over her head. "I'm going to leave now… you know, find that water… yep." Ranma ran off, this glowing, 7 foot tall, angel Kasumi was making him nervous.

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**Author's note:** yep, I can't believe Noy did it. Turning Kasumi into an angel. That's so perfect; I wonder why it's super ultra mega rare in the fanfics. Still, this is really unique. Sure, regular angels from anywhere could be a good choice, but which one is a race of glowing alien angels? Brilliant! Anyway, Noy says that the best line that was created so far by Noy was "Would you like some tea Mr. Jusenkyo?" personally, I like other things, but, I'll admit, it's pretty funny. Anyway… Kasumi is cursed cuz she asked for it. Not Noy's fault there. Who's next? Hell if I got a clue. I'm just the text.


	5. Soun

The Revenge of Jusenkyo

~Noy Telinú~

**Warning:** this is fanfiction. As such, I need to remind you to not, under any circumstances, confuse this with the canon. If you do, oh so help me, I will find a way to beat you within an inch of your life. Somehow… I'm working on that, but when I'm able to control computers, oh boy, I will get you.

**Caution:** this is a weird story. Be prepared for odd references and many Jusenkyo curses. You might not like the curses, but it is part of the story. I know, cuz I'm the text.

**Notice:** that Jusenkyo is alive. Remember that now.

You have been warned…

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Chapter 4: Soun

Ranma ran into the living room, looking for moving water. This living Jusenkyo thing was making him worry. It could curse anyone. While he normally didn't care if someone got cursed, it could cause havoc to the area. Besides, as Genma would say, a martial artist's duty was to protect the weak. Then again, if there was living Jusenkyo water, maybe he can be cured after all.

"Alright Jusenkyo, where are you?" Ranma called out in the living room.

"Backkk!" yipped Nabiki, her mouth in a bag of potato chips.

"You haven't seen it *snicker* Nabiki?" Ranma could barely hold in his laughter when he saw Nabiki munching on the chips. 'If only I had a camera…'

The fox poked her head over the sofa, mouth in the bag and shook her head.

"Bakkk!"

"You're taking this better than I thought."

Nabiki the red fox shrugged and turned back to watching Death Note.

[Boy! Get your fiancée to stop!] A sign read from a running panda.

"Eeekkck!" Akane the Capuchin monkey screeched as she chased after the panda.

Ranma sighed. "Akane, its not worth it. Besides, we have a problem." Ranma showed no concern for his panda father, it was about time Akane attacked him anyway.

"Eckk!" Akane asked as she stopped pounding a sign over the panda's head.

"Look, um… Akane, the Jusenkyo water is out there now, and it… uh… got Kasumi already…" No sooner that Ranma said this, Akane shrieked and ran off into the kitchen, where she promptly fainted.

"Oh my! Are you alright, Akane?" Kasumi asked her monkey sister.

Ranma facepalmed "Great Akane, now I have to do this myself; not that you're a help anyway." He picked up the fainted Akane and held her to his chest, and was surprised to see the little thing cling onto the top of his shoulder. 'Huh? What are you doing Akane?'

Ranma, getting an idea, pushed Akane so that she was on his shoulder, and the little monkey clamped on tightly.

'Weird… at least I won't lose you like this. Guess you're coming with me anyway.'

Ranma, already at his weirdness norm for the day, just rolled his eyes as he left in search of the living Jusenkyo water.

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Soun Tendo was walking home, saddened by his meeting with the district council. Apparently, they weren't so happy with Happosai still causing trouble and wanted to know why it's taking Soun so long to get rid of the little perverted devil. Of course they don't know that Happosai is living with the Tendo's. However, they were suspicious on why it was taking so long. Nevertheless, they are paying him to catch the monster, but he is running out of time.

"The master, why does he torment us so?" Soun started crying.

He was almost to his home when a puddle of water crawled up his leg…

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"Ok Akane, I need you to keep a look out for moving water, got it?" Ranma looked over to his left shoulder to see a sleeping Akane monkey.

"Oh, yeah… I forgot. Still, you don't look that bad as a monkey, Akane. It might help us if you were something more useful instead of just a small sleeping monkey. Eh, welcome to the club, Akane. I was afraid something like this would happen, but it could be worse."

*ZZZZ* Akane was still sleeping.

'Damn, she is so cute when she sleeps like that… get a hold of yourself! Akane has a Jusenkyo curse!  
>Now, find that water and beat a cure out of it. Yeah, like that'll work. I need a plan. First things first, where is it?'<p>

That is when Ranma came around the corner to see Soun Tendo crying while walking down the street. Nothing unusual except that water moving up his leg…

Ranma's eyes bugged out as he did a double take. 'There it is! And its going to curse him!'

"Stop!" Ranma yelled, too late as the change started.

Soun Tendo changed before Ranma's eyes into something much smaller than he used to be.

"Heeehhahehaaha!" went Soun… the spotted Hyena.

"Oh, great… a hyena. Hey! Jusenkyo water! Come back here!" Ranma ran after the retreating Jusenkyo water.

A humming, flying Kasumi arrived at that point and saw her father's clothes under a hyena. Realizing that the Jusenkyo water did say that it was going to change her father, she realized that the hyena was her father. Deciding to help, Kasumi floated down to him.

"Father, it's me, Kasumi. Come, I'll get you some hot water."

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The Jusenkyo water was slipping away, running from Ranma. Sure, it couldn't go that fast, but it can't be picked up, can it? That was what Ranma was dealing with.

"Stupid, why… can't I GET YOU?" an irritated female Ranma was growling at the water as it kept reshaping every time Ranma tried to pick it up.

"Sweeto!" was heard loud and clear by Ranma.

"Great, the freak's here." Then Ranma smiled, as she thought about that, Happosai would be getting a Jusenkyo curse. "Hey, Old Freak! Bleahhh!" Ranma stuck her tongue out.

Happosai, who was already coming towards Ranma, raised an eyebrow, but didn't pay it much mind, until water splashed in his face, turning him into something else through the powers of the magic of Jusenkyo.

Once Ranma saw what he was turning into, she laughed before she took off after the water, which was now slithering off towards the Saotome half way rebuilt house.

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Soun, Nabiki, Kasumi and Genma were all at the table in their human forms, discussing what had happened.

"Saotome! How could you! You have doomed my family! Whaaahaha!" Soun cried.

"Daddy, please stop the crying already, it's annoying." Nabiki said, hand on her forehead.

Genma tried to defend himself. "How was I supposed to know it would curse all of you? Besides, I thought it didn't work anyway. It's the boy's fault, he should have stopped it anyway, ungrateful son." Yeah,_ tried_ is the word here.

"Now my daughters are an angel, a fox, and a monkey! Whaaaa!" Soun continued babbling.

"Father, I asked to be cursed; it's so exciting isn't it Nabiki?" Kasumi smiled.

"I have no idea what you're talking abut. This dream is going to be over soon." Nabiki was denying everything.

"Nabiki, this isn't a dream." Kasumi said, slightly frowning.

"Whatever you say angel Kasumi, this dream is really realistic, it even got Daddy's habits down." Denial…

"And what Father would I be as a hyena? Whaaa! This is terrible! The schools will never be joined now. Whaaaa!" Soun kept crying.

*Splash* a cup poured water over the now hyena Soun.

"Crying that much isn't good for you Father." Kasumi reminded him as she put down the cup. "Mr. Saotome, please be more careful in the future."

*Splash* [Who? Me? I'm just a cute little Panda!]

"See, I knew he'll do that. Hey, dream Kasumi, can I have some tea?" Nabiki asked, leaning back.

"Nabiki, this isn't a dream." Kasumi was concerned.

"Oh, you're here too, Kasumi? So who'll get us out of this dream? Its not Happosai's again, is it?"

"Nabiki, this is real. The whole family is cursed now because of what Mr. Saotome did. It's unhealthy to deny it. Besides, this is exciting! Have you tried your cursed form yet, Nabiki?"

"So… this isn't us stuck in a joint dream?" Nabiki's face was starting to look scared.

"This is real. Oh my! I have to finish dinner." Kasumi left for the kitchen.

Nabiki looked at her right to see a hyena playing shogi with a panda. "Ahhhh! This is only supposed to happen to Akane!"

Nabiki didn't recover until dinner.

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**Author's notes:** So, a girl walks into a bar with an angel, hyena, panda, fox, and monkey… yep, a family that's cursed together, stays cursed together. Now, figured out what is special about Akane? Come on, guess! Oh and Happosai? It's a great one alright… haha!


	6. Happosai

The Revenge of Jusenkyo

~Noy Telinú~

**Warning:** this is fanfiction. As you can see on this site, this is fanfiction. Fanfiction. Of course it's not perfect. And since it's made by a fan… then don't use it as a canon source. Capisce?

**Caution:** this involves living Jusenkyo water. Oh and many, many cursed people. Sometimes people forget that. Yeah, I know. I remember, and I'm the text!

**Complainers:** complain, and stuff. Well, Noy says this story isn't suppose to be serious like the others, in fact it is a parody. so... Yeah, I know I've been trying to tell Noy, but its hard too. Now read. if you think it sucks, then complain, Noy can take it. That and you can't please everyone, oh well. This _is_ a weak plot, but, then again, it is about living Jusenkyo water getting revenge by cursing people. You read it not me! THE ALL MIGHTY TEXT HAS NO NEED FOR READING! Whoops... uh... IGNORE THIS STATEMENT! And everything...

You have been warned…

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Chapter 5: Happosai

While Ranma was trying to catch living water, Happosai was trying to figure out what happened to him.

'Ok, uh, paws… uh oh. That was Jusenkyo water? Ranma, you shall pay! Wait… if I'm an animal… it gets me closer to the ladies.' Happosai's huge eyes went wider, filled with mischievous glee.

"Ehhh!" went Happosai, the furry animal.

Seeing a group of girls, he used his new-found cuteness into action.

"So I said… Ackkkkahakk!" Shrieked one of the girls.

"Huh? What is it- Oh my GAHHHHHHAHAHAKK! Run away! Run away!" another shouted, and the whole group of girls saw the animal on the ground as well, screaming as they ran for their lives.

'Huh? That's not how it's supposed to go. Oh well, must be scared girls. Heh, that's redundant anyways. Oh look, a pretty lady!'

Happosai jumped over to his next target, landing in front of her, only to get a similar result.

"Ackk! Get away, get away!" the woman ran off, shrieking.

"What's her problem?" A man asked; only to see the animal in question. "Just, back away, really slow like everyone. Don't scream, it'll just scare it."

Everyone in the area saw the animal and likewise backed away, except for some girls, who screamed and ran away as fast as they could.

'What's going on? They should adore me, not run away!' Happosai jumped and leaped towards the nearest female.

"Gahhh! Get away! Nnnoo. No!" the woman gagged and pushed the animal off of her.

"Animal control! What's the number for animal control?" a man called out.

'Why is everyone avoiding me? I'm only a cute animal!'

"Ehhehe!" Happosai squeaked in his best cute voice.

Everyone just ran for the hills.

'Alright, what am I that females hate so much…' he looked in the store window, his reflection showing. 'No… Nooooooo! Curse you Ranma!'

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Ranma felt a chill go up her back for some reason. Ignoring it, she tried to figure out a way to capture the water.

Akane, who was asleep on Ranma's shoulder, picked that time to wake up. "Eekk?"

This startled Ranma enough to almost lose her balance. "Akane! You're awake!"

"Ea*yawn* kk…. Ek… Ekkkekkek!" Akane shouted when she realized where she was.

"Hey, you latched onto me! Now stop it! The Jusenkyo water is right there!"

Akane, who saw the puddle moving with her own eyes, jumped off Ranma's shoulder and tried to smother the puddle. Of course it didn't work.

"Eckk!" The puddle reformed out of her hands like the water it is. "Ekk!"

"Akane that doesn't work. I know, I've tried. We need something to catch it in. Uh… Ow!"

"Eckk!" Akane scratched and hit Ranma with her tiny monkey hands. It was more annoying than hurtful for once.

"Akane, stop it! The water is getting away!" Ranma pleaded, talking to a held Akane by the scruff of her neck.

"Ekkk!" Akane protested, wigging around and thrashing in Ranma's grasp.

Akane was let down as the two chased after the water.

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"HeeheheheheHE!" laughed hyena Soun.

"Growlf!" replied Genma the giant panda.

"He-he. HEheeeehehe!" laughed Soun as he pointed behind Genma.

Genma turned around, not finding anything.

While his back was turned, Soun rearranged the pieces of the Shogi game.

"Gewolf!" Genma protested, seeing the tables turned.

"He hee hee he he!" Soun shrugged.

[Look!] Flip [Its Akane!] The panda sign read.

Soun turned around to see no one. While that was happening, Genma rearranged the pieces.

"He heee hehehe!" Soun pouted.

"Growlef gowlf." Genma answered.

"Father, Mr. Saotome, would you like some tea?" Kasumi the Angel asked.

[Yes please!] flip [Tendo?]

"Ha!"

[He wants some too.]

"Alright, dinner shall be ready soon. Thank you for helping father through this." Kasumi smiled.

[Hey] flip [What are friends for?] flip. [Look, it's the master!]

Soun the hyena turned around only to find Nodoka instead.

"Grealff!" Genma panicked.

"Husband? Why are you playing with a hyena?" Nodoka asked, sword at the ready.

[I'm just a cute little Panda!]

"That doesn't work; I know it's you." Nodoka frowned.

[Sorry.] Flip [I forgot.]

"Have you seen Ranma anywhere? And why are you playing with a hyena?"

"Auntie Saotome! How was your trip?" an angelic Kasumi asked.

"Kasumi?" Nodoka asked, eyes widening, and looking up, way up.

"Yes auntie, would you like some tea as well? Here you go Father, Mr. Saotome." Kasumi was still smiling.

"Wha- how?" Nodoka gathered herself. "How did this happen?"

"Oh my! It was the magical Jusenkyo water that came in the mail. Now it's after everyone in Nerima." Kasumi looked concerned.

"It?"

"Oh yes. The Jusenkyo water is alive. It was in a package addressed to Mr. Saotome. Miss Jusenkyo said it came here to punish those who harmed its children. Ranma and Akane are after it now. Tea?"

"Ranma is going after it? Akane as well?" Nodoka looked sick. "Is Akane cursed as the rest of you? Oh, and yes, I need some tea right now." Nodoka sat at the table.

"Here you go Auntie, oh, and this is the book that came with the water, the people cursed so far are written next to their curse." Kasumi smiled

Nodoka flipped through it and was amazed at the curses that were in it. After a while, she found out that Kasumi was splashed by the spring of drowned Diathim that came from the moons of Iego. Another one that was found was Soun the Hyena, Nabiki the fox, and Akane…

"Oh my!" Nodoka did her Kasumi impression. "This will help my son. Ooh and she is so cute! A Capuchin monkey! How exotic!"

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Happosai, meanwhile, was sulking in his situation. Out of all the animals to be cursed to turn into, this one was down there among the worst. If not _the _worst.

"Eehh!" groaned Happosai. This was not a good day.

Maybe Ranma won't mind being fondled.

'Oh look! There she is now! I will get you!'

Happosai jumped in front of Ranma and Akane, unintentionally letting the Jusenkyo water get away.

"EekkE!" Akane clutched her nose and jumped on Ranma.

"Hey! It's the old freak! It's your fault! You angered Jusenkyo! Ackk get away!" Ranma ran the other way as Happosai followed after her.

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The Jusenkyo water was annoyed by what just happened, worse, Nodoka wasn't in her home, so it turned to its next target, which it finally got to.

The cat café already has two cursed animals, why not three?

'Cologne, you will be punished for sure!' Jusenkyo thought as it slipped under the door.

"Shampoo! Closing time!" Cologne shouted from the back.

"Yes great grandmother!" Shampoo responded.

"Shampoo! Would you go on a date with me?" Mousse asked a table.

Shampoo sighed. "Stupid Mousse."

The water ignored the beat down; instead, it slithered into the kitchen where Cologne was.

"Mr. Part time forgot a spot." Cologne sighed as she got a rag to clean up the water that appeared in her kitchen.

She only realized too late that it was no ordinary water when it jumped up her arm.

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Dinner was about to start when Ranma, with Akane on her shoulder, jumped into the Tendo yard.

"There, I think we lost him… oh… hi mom." Ranma scratched the back of her head nervously as she saw her mom and everyone else at the table, right before they started eating.

"Boy! Get in here!" Genma shouted.

"You are just in time, son." Nodoka greeted the two.

"Exactly as planned." Nabiki said.

"Whaa! My daughter's still a monkey!" Soun cried, again… typical.

"Oh my! You are just in time, Ranma, Akane. I have hot water here. Oh, and Akane, here are your clothes. Dinner's ready!" A human Kasumi smiled. Life was unpredictable again.

Ranma just blinked and headed off to the bathroom with Akane.

They got back right before Happosai showed up.

"Eeheh!" the little guy squealed.

"Ahhh!" Akane, Ranma, and Nabiki screamed.

"Boy! Stop acting like a girl and take care of the skunk!" Genma commanded.

"That's no moon… err… Skunk! That's a Happosai" Akane yelled as it jumped towards her chest, only to be batted away, through the roof, twinkle in the sky.

"The master's a skunk!" Soun didn't cry. "Oh, happy day Saotome! Things might not be bad after all!"

"Yes it is, Tendo, yes it is." Genma agreed.

"Stupid old freak had it coming." Ranma agreed as he sat down.

"Oh my! I hope grandfather's alright. Girls don't like skunks." Kasumi looked thoughtful.

"Who does, sis? Now let's eat. I want to use my hands for something while I still got them." Nabiki stated as she dug in.

Everyone else shrugged as they ate.

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**Author's notes:** yes, a skunk. It's so perfect! Mwhahaha! Good one Noy! So, for those keeping score, Ranma is a girl(duh) Genma is a panda (double duh) Akane is a special Capuchin monkey,(guess) Nabiki is a red fox, Kasumi is a diathim, (Star wars angel) Soun is a spotted hyena, and Happosai is a skunk. Up next is Cologne, what should she be? To find out, tune in next time for the next installment of… The Revenge of Jusenkyo! When will that be? Who knows? It's Noy. Until Noy decides to update this... thing... I'm the text.


	7. Cologne

The Revenge of Jusenkyo

~Noy Telinú~

**Warning:** side effects of fanfiction include… insanity, paranoia, over-thinking, love sickness, madness, obsessiveness, excessive anger, misguided fact thoughts, horniness, sleep deprivation and depression. If you start showing signs of wanting to kill and or maim people, please, call the fanfiction disease hotline or watch the actual canon material. It can save you life and your brain will thank you.

**Caution:** don't think about this too much, or else you won't be able to enjoy regular fiction again. Seriously, don't think about this too much. I'm the Text, so I'm right. I think.

**Attention:** attention, this just in, a fanfiction chapter is spotted below. It is armed and very dangerous. Hide your potato chips and Girl Scout cookies. Fanfiction has been known to contain these in their fossilized remains. Attempting to read could result in death. That is all.

You have been warned…

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Chapter 6: Cologne

Jusenkyo loves animals. Jusenkyo loves them very much. They make the best children as no matter how angry they are at you, they look soooo cute! Maybe that is why Jusenkyo is full of tiny animals from cats to piglets to ducks. They are so tiny. So very, very tiny. You can squeeze them, and hold them, and pat them on the head. Throw them in the oven before the baby says. Wait… that is the downside… cute animals are the best tasting after all. It's why baby cows are so expensive. And not just because it takes more ink to write it in menus than before. Just like someone who said things but name was forgot onto history. Or maybe because no one knew him? Or was it a her? Was it a person after all? Maybe it was a seal… anyway the saying is… "Penguins taste good with ketchup." It's true, so very true.

The Jusenkyo water continued on, swimming in its clear glass jar.

All this thinking was giving it a headache.

"So… Great Grandmother get cursed, yes?" Shampoo asked, eyebrow raised, as she was in a booth being informed by Cologne.

"Yes, child. This water is the living embodiment of Jusenkyo, but why it is here, I don't know." Cologne continued. "Too bad it can't speak."

"What you turn into Great Grandmother!" Shampoo was as giddy as a school girl, odd as she never went to school.

"That's not important right now."

"You no tell Shampoo because it ugly? OW!" Shampoo rubbed her head from where the staff bonked her.

Cologne sighed and brought her staff down. "Just bring the box."

"Yes great grandmother." Shampoo got the box and placed it on the table.

Suddenly, a flying duck smashed into the table, tipping it over and causing the jar to fall on the floor.

*Shatter*

The Jusenkyo water dashed away, well, as well as it could considering that its water.

"Quack!" the duck with glasses quacked.

"Stupid Mousse let water get away!" Shampoo dove for the water, only getting wet.

"Meow… Nyan?" Shampoo was a cat again.

Cologne had her face in her palm. "It took forever to get it the first time."

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The water that was Jusenkyo, sloshed on its journey into the night.

'Well… this is taking forever.' It thought as it kept on moving towards Uchann's.

Being that it was night, the moon shone on the water puddle as it kept going towards the restaurant. It was enough reflection to reflect someone's reflection clearly.

The face of one mega cross dresser, Tsubasa, currently pretending to be a schoolgirl.

Jusenkyo 'looked on' as the boy who looked like a girl, sneaked his way towards the restaurant.

'Hmm… he is annoying… ah, oh well he's next then.' Jusenkyo made its move.

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Over at the Tendo dojo everyone was arguing over whose fault this is. Needless to say, the culprit was found rather quickly.

"Husband! I can't believe you would do this!" Nodoka shouted, once again mad at the Panda.

[It's not my fault!] A panda sign read.

"Shut it pops!" Ranma yelled, annoyed.

[Hey! I thought it might cure me!]

"But, to put it in the bath!" Akane screamed.

"That wasn't smart at all Saotome, how could you?" Soun didn't cry, hey, he doesn't cry all the time, idiots.

"Didn't Akane beat him up for this already?" Nabiki asked, watching anime.

"Even though this might work for the best, you are still stupid sometimes." Nodoka tried her best to not put her hand on her head, she failed.

"Yes, the Master is a skunk, but this is not your high point Saotome." Soun sighed.

"An ugly skunk." Ranma pointed out.

"I thought it was hideous, even if he could hide the smell, I wouldn't want to touch him." Akane put in her two yen.

"Oh My!" was heard in the background.

"You said it sis, now, can you all be quiet? I'm watching anime here!" Nabiki was annoyed.

"Honestly! You only think of yourself! Wait… how are you watching that? Doesn't that not come out until…" Akane was cut off by a yell that went like this.

"Eeep!"

Yeah, like that.

Everyone was covering their noses.

"Nnnono! Nnot te olllddd freek!" Ranma said, nasally.

Happosai, the still spewing, stinky, ugly skunk jumped in and tried to molest Akane, but missed as she fell backwards due to the stench getting through her fingers.

"Eep." Happosai sailed through the air, and hit a male Ranma in the chest.

Ranma picked him up and threw him away as far as he could.

"Oh My!" came a voice from the kitchen, exactly two minutes since the last one.

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Meanwhile at the cat café! Our trio of Amazons does… stuff.

"Alright Mr. Part time, explain yourself! Why did you let free Jusenkyo?" Cologne asked, rubbing her forehead.

"It was Jusenkyo water! How can I **not** try to use it to cure myself?" Mousse retorted.

"Stupid Mousse is too, too stupid." Shampoo shook her head in disgust.

"Shampoo, you are the one sounding stupid right now." Cologne pointed out.

"Shampoo no sound stupid!"

"Child, you really need to work on your Japanese."

"Shampoo no need to, it fine!"

Mousse started to sneak away.

"It's been a year now, and you haven't improved a bit!"

"Shampoo speak good enough!"

"Then why do you sound like a five year old?"

"Shampoo don't!"

"Yes you do… but that's not the point right now."

"Why Great Grandmother angry anyway? It no Shampoo fault!"

Mousse was now in the kitchen.

"I'm just reminded that you have been here a year and still haven't gotten Ranma to love you yet. Although after the bombed wedding, I don't know how you can do it."

"Shampoo find way! Akane no deserve Ranma!"

"Be as that may, when was the last time you were with him and he liked being around you?"

"Shampoo NO LOSE TO VIOLENT GIRL!"

Mousse filled a bucket of water.

"The only way I see that you could win is if you get him a real cure, which I might have been able to set up if the water hasn't gotten away."

"That one Mousse fault!"

"Yes, we were interrogating him when you just kept insulting him!"

"Great Grandmother insult too!"

"Yes, but you are… let's stop. I'm getting angry again." Cologne took in a deep breath. "I guess I'm just mad that the water escaped that's all. But seriously Shampoo, work on your Japanese. By this rate we'll be here for many more years to come. Now, where's Mousse?"

"Right behind you old Monkey!" Mouse proclaimed as he dumped the bucket of water over Cologne's head. This only happened because he used reverse psychology on tricking his brain to dump water on Shampoo, thus leading him to Cologne, dumping the water on her. He still got some on himself and Shampoo though.

"Quack!"

"Hiss!"

"How did I know this was going to happen?"

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In the Tendo home, everyone that was there was trying to air out the smell of Happosai.

"Damn… it… Pops!" Ranma spewed out, trying his best to air out the house.

"I have a feeling this is going to change everything, right?" Nabiki asked the air as she had her face in a pillow.

"Genma, you are helping too!" Nodoka was dragging a panda. "Where's Kasumi?"

"I… I don't know." Akane looked troubled. "Nabiki have you seen Kasumi?"

"Oh My!"

"See!. She's in the kitchen." Akane walked in there. "Hey Kasu-"

A tape recorder set for every two minutes was sitting on the counter.

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Meanwhile nine thousand and one feet in the air Kasumi was enjoying being an angel. Even if she was an alien Angel.

"I haven't had this much fun in… well… never." Kasumi smiled as she continued to fly through the air, way up high.

"This is so... much… fun!" Yep, Kasumi enjoyed this.

Kasumi enjoyed her curse, unlike the others. In fact, it would probably be a tossup on who enjoyed themselves more, Taro (first name not mentioned, for fear of life.) or Kasumi Tendo.

'It's getting late… but this is fun, I'm enjoying myself. Who knew that flying was so… so… I don't even have a word for it.'

And that's how a quick two minute break can last hours.

"Wheee! Oh, My! I shouldn't say that…."

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"Meow?"

"Quack Quuaackk?"

"I know. I'll get the hot water." Cologne pogo-ed away.

"Nya? Mew Mew?"

"Be patient."

"Quackk quakkk!"

"Mew mew mewwse!"

"Quack quakkc!"

"It'll be a while… I know this is weird…"

"Quakkk Quacxcxk!"

"Nyahn! Nyah!"

"After this we'll visit the Tendo's we have much to discuss."

"Nyahn, meow mew mew mew…"

"Quak! Quackkk! Quack!"

"At least I'm still the same size..."

"Nya, Nyahn, mew merow ny!"

Cologne sighed.

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The Jusenkyo water reached Tsubasa right before he got to Ukyo's restaurant. The water splashed onto his leg as he felt the changes come over him.

'Well, this one fits, but so does that one… hmmm… what to choose, ah… ennie menie miney moe…' Thought Jusenkyo as it changed the cross dresser.

"Dahh!" Screeched Tsubasa as Jusenkyo kept wavering on its choices.

Jusenkyo finally made up its mind right before it started raining…

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The Tendo home was in panic as no one could find Kasumi. Well, scratch that, _almost_ everyone was in panic, Nabiki was still watching anime.

While this was going on, there was commotion at the door.

Ranma went to open it only to find a duck, a pink cat, and…

"Ah! It's a raccoon on a stick!" Ranma yelled as he saw what was on the other side of the door. How he didn't see Shampoo, nobody knows.

*Bonk*

"Just don't look farther down, son in law."

"Ahh! A talking raccoon!"

*Bonk*

After some more screaming, everyone was around the table; those who were in the house at least.

"Now we have a talking raccoon. When will I wake up?" Nabiki drawled as she looked at the ceiling.

A human Mousse scratched his head. "I was hoping she would have been an old monkey."

*bonk*

"We have a problem on our hands." Cologne, still a raccoon, said.

"Yeah, you're freaking me out! It was hard enough getting used to a talking frog!" Ranma cringed.

*Bonk*

"I don't want to do this all night." Cologne said, annoyed.

"How Great Grandmother talk!" Shampoo wanted to know.

"Crazy dream, huh Akane?" Nabiki was on her back, out of it.

"Nabiki! You know this isn't a dream!" Akane yelled.

"Ayhiah! Violent girl right! Mercenary girl no dreaming!"

"Oh my! Nabiki, is this another one of your 'not possible' episodes? You haven't had one since you were almost killed that one time."

Everyone turned to see a smiling, angelic, Angel that is an alien Kasumi, right in the doorway, eyes half closed and glowing.

*thud* let the bodies hit the floor...

"Oh my! Is it something I said?"

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**Author's notes:** yes, a talking raccoon. Yeah… I know, I asked why when I read this and all Noy could say was… "Telinú watched too many DreamWorks movies." So… that's all you get. I don't get it either. On with the story! By that I mean next month. It's hard for Noy to write these when Telinú is bringing up so many ideas. I think I counted 14 on my last run... I sure hope this gets updated... stupid Telinú. Till then, I'm the text.


	8. Tsubasa

The Revenge of Jusenkyo

~Noy Telinú~

**Warning:** this story is messed up. Big time. Seriously, I'm telling you, it's crazy. Living water, throwing curses everywhere, and having a chapter about a minor character that's minor character to minor characters? Yes, yes it does. I'm going to sue Noy and Telinú now. I hate them.

**Caution:** you are reading fanfiction. You know that right?

You have been warned…

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Chapter 7: Tsubasa

The water that was Jusenkyo chose its answer and gave the curse to the deluded crossdresser. It felt rather cruel, but Jusenkyo remembered when he pretended to be a lesbian…

Tsubasa shrank down and his eyes widened as things started to look **really** big.

"…" Tsubasa couldn't find a way to talk and looking around made him a bit dizzy.

Jusenkyo couldn't stick around, however and slipped inside Okonomiyaki Ucchan's right before it closed.

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Meanwhile back at the Tendo Home…

Kasumi (who was now normal.) knelt at the table talking with Ranma, the only one who didn't faint upon her arrival.

"Oh My! I guess that was sudden, wasn't it?" She said as she felt a bit guilty.

"Nothing surprises me anymore." Ranma shrugged.

"Really?" Kasumi asked, thinking about seeing a raccoon in the house… on a stick.

"Nah, sometimes you just go with the flow, nothing strange here." Ranma lied, contrary to everyone's belief Ranma can lie very well; only at at card games is he really bad. "Although, Akane did say she heard you in the kitchen. What was that about?"

"Yes." Kasumi pulled out her tape recorder. "I got this from a friend when I flew the first time. She was so nice."

"So… is the tape recorder magical or something?"

"Yes, it allows me to record anything and play it back when some speaks. It's from the future, actually." Kasumi smiled.

"So you visited someone from the future?"

"Oh my, no." Kasumi shook her head. "I got it from myself. She was very nice to me."

"What?"

"She said it was an extra that she bought at one of those markets that keep disappearing. She played it on Nabiki once. I just couldn't refuse myself at all."

"I don't even know why I try anymore…" Ranma put a hand to his head. "At least the place is breathable now."

"Ranma? I have an idea…"

"… About what? And why did you trail off like that?"

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Jusenkyo was now on the counter, waiting to make its move.

Remembering Akane's memories, it concluded that Ukyo would gain a curse. Something that symbolizes her relationship with Ranma…

'Ah, that's it! Oh no! Konatsu is coming this way.'

Konatsu, the super genius ninja of awesomeness that was raised as a girl his whole life, was coming this way. His life story was pretty bad and only caused harm to Jusenkyo's children because he was forced to. So now, it tried to find a way to not curse the boy, he had a bad enough life already. So it was with annoyance that Jusenkyo was cleaned up in a rag. It'll have to get Ukyo some other way.

Speaking of the Spatula wielder…

"Konatsu, I think we finally made enough so that we can eat more. Just please… don't run this place if I get sick again." She glared at the crossdressing boy.

"I'm sorry about that Mistress Ukyo, it won't happen again." It was just good enough for him to see Ukyo happy. He knew that if he just waited it out, Ranma would get married to Akane eventually and Ukyo would need someone to cry upon, and he was going to be that someone.

"It was my fault, I should have just closed. Time to bring in the sign."

"I'll do it Mistress." Konatsu walked outside and brought in the sign, right when it started to rain.

'No! it's closing! I'm not letting you get away Ukyo!' Tsubasa, in his tiny form tried walking into the restaurant, only to be met with a closed door.

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"Who are you and what have you done to Kasumi?" Ranma demanded.

"It's me Ranma; I just would like some fun. It was really the other me's idea. And it was too cute to refuse."

"Akane would kill me!"

"Just say it was my idea."

"Like she'll believe **that**!"

"But, we're surrounded by cute little animals. You know how Akane loves cute little animals."

"No! I'm not building a stable, a barn or anything like **that**!"

"Please Ranma?" Kasumi tried to do puppy eyes.

'Must resist… falling for… that…'

"No! Mind tricks don't work on me!"

"Aw… could we do plan B then?"

"Now you got me asking, what's plan B?"

Kasumi smiled evilly. For being an Angel from Iego, she is not that angelic… at times, that is.

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Using persistence and his strong feet, Tsubasa got to the window of Ukyo's restaurant.

'Now if only I knew what I became.' Tsubasa wondered as he tried to remember how to change back. Ranma can have a weird impact on someone's life.

Tsubasa saw inside as things were being cleaned up.

'Why won't Ukyo like me? Is it that she really is a lesbian? No, Rama is a guy turning into a girl… unless… that was all a lie to get me to leave! You have to do better than that to get rid of me! I see through your lies!'

A little while later, the lights were turned out and Tsubasa saw himself in the window.

He must scream, but he couldn't.

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Inside the restaurant, Jusenkyo, which was much smaller now due to cursing people, was still in a rag held by Konatsu.

'What do I do now? Wait till morning and get her then? Yeah, that sounds good.'

The phone rang.

"Huh? Who would call now?" Ukyo grabbed the phone.

"Ucchan? Could you bring some Okonomiyaki here, not much, just some. Oh and if you see moving water, **Do Not** touch it. Kasumi is starting to scare me."

"Alright, I'll bring you some. Are you alright? You sound stressed."

"I'll tell you when you get here." He hung up.

Konatsu turned the lights back on.

He noticed something in the window.

"A Chameleon? I didn't know they were in Japan." His eyebrow raised as it seemed to disappear, becoming invisible.

Konatsu shrugged and whipped his face with the rag.

'No… No!' Jusenkyo freaked as Konatsu changed.

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The Chameleon that was Tsubasa was horrified at his reflection. He was not cute any longer, he was a freak now. All that time dressing up, wasted. This was not his day.

Looking at his odd hands he saw them change color numerous times.

It was only after some experimentation that he turned invisible, because this is n anime, so shut up.

'This might come in handy after all, oh look a fly!'

*Yonk* His tongue shot out and he ate it.

'Ew! Ew! EW!' He thought. 'What is happening to ME?'

He didn't know why, he swallowed that fly.

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"This is still not a good idea. Besides, Mom isn't cursed." Ranma pointed out, relived that it was still the case.

"But look at how cute they are together!" Kasumi squealed.

'Girls and cute… I'll never understand it.' Ranma thought. "Turning everyone into animals and having them watch Bambi is not…" Ranma gave up as everyone was now in position. When did he become the sane man?

Genma was lying on the floor in front with Nodoka using him as a headrest. Soun was curled up like a dog next to those two.

Nabiki was on one side of the sofa, with her mouth in a bag of Potato chips.

Shampoo was next to Nabiki, with Mousse next to her.

Cologne was sleeping on her staff, wedged into the sofa. Kasumi was an angel and sat next to Cologne. She had a tub of popcorn and a huge drink.

And Akane… where was she?

"Kasumi, where's Akane?"

"On your shoulder, don't you feel her?" Kasumi tosses a cup of water at Ranma when he turned to find Akane there, sleeping soundly.

"What you do that for?"

"The movie is going to start soon and you need to be ready."

Somehow, Kasumi was acting way younger then she is. Maybe the stress broke her?

Ranma sighed in defeat and sat next to Kasumi with Akane on her shoulder just when the film started, waking everyone.

The noise coming from the house made it seem like it was a barn.

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**Author's notes:** The tape recorder thing was a mistake. At least, that's what Noy said. Anyway, it was from Noy's other story, Fooled: Day and Night Mutual Slavery. So this was in part made to make it make sense. Anyway, tuatara wins again. Man you're good. Yep. Originally Telinú had Tsubasa as Randal from Monsters inc. But that was too difficult to do and didn't suck that much. So, Chameleon was the other choice. It's funnier that way. Life's not fair tuatara. You know that. Taro has a monster form and P-chan is bacon. Jusenkyo is not fair at all no matter what it says. ranma-saotome-cursed-fighter, no… not, no. No. No… no … nah, no. Nuh uh, no, I refuse, no. At least Ryoga as a girl. While it has pissed me, the Text, off that there are too few stories about female Ryoga, it won't fit here. I know the cursed people. I have a list that was emailed to me by Noy. And changing Ryoga is just a bit too mean. Or nice. Either way that makes sense. Arashi Uzumaki-Namikaze, Diathim is the Angel species from the Star Wars AU. Google it. Don't be shy. So what if you "stink" at reviewing, you are doing better than all those others that don't review. They are the chickens. Mmmm… chicken. Also, rat, nope, soo close. I'll tell Noy you think that this is funny. Telinú will take it right in the head. Natalie-E-G, don't blame me! I'm just the Text! Anyway, I heard Noy say that this is just a bam, bam, bam thing of a story since it's a jumpstart to everything for everyone. After this is done, you and many other authors can use this to jump off your own stories. There will be a sequel to this, and another sequel to this, and another, all going different directions. What are you going to do? Anyway, Since all of this is just the victims finding out, filler might be rare since each person has to be cursed per chapter and Noy wants this story to have short chapters. Anyway, there will be 5, maybe 6 chapters left so a little more than halfway done. Oh, and before anyone asks, Bambi is popular in Japan. Yes, it is. Why? How should I know? I'm the text! Lastly, the other stories are NOT abandoned. They will never be, it's just, well, Noy wants Ranma the Mutant Catgirl to come out before August (like that'll happen) and wants the spam cabinet to be able to be posted after that. Last, the Story Ranma 6 needs to be posted by the end of the year, because on January 1st 2012, there will be a new story posted. Busy, busy Noy. For Noy Telinú's The Revenge of Jusenkyo, I'm the Text. *cue end of the news music.* Cue it I said!


	9. Konatsu

The Revenge of Jusenkyo

~Noy Telinú~

**Warning:** you are reading a fanfic by Noy Telinú. Leave sanity at the door. The text (which is me) is not responsible for any mental illnesses that you may obtain by reading this. For I am just the text. If you start yelling at computers or trashing keyboards, please contact your doctor immediately.

**Caution:** this is illegal. I have to say it for my quota this month.

**No!:** no one is safe, not even Konatsu. Screaming won't do you any good.

**Yes!:** I am informed to notify you that Noy Telinú is thankful for your support. And that even though reviews are not high at all, it is the favorites that really make people happy. Including me, because the more favorites, the more I get to eat. Mmmm… words… *gargle* *foam* *drool*

**Notice:** that this is updated. Yes, it is. I know, I'm shocked too. Although It is the only one that is updated on time. Why is that?

You have been warned…

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Chapter 8: Konatsu

'Stupid! I know I should have safeguarded myself, but… arggg! He wasn't on my list!' Jusenkyo thought in a screaming matter as it stuck to the rag, firmly still in the ninja's belt.

'I only end up making things worse for him! I sure hope that he isn't too upset… now isn't the time for brooding. Ukyo is on her way towards the Tendo's so once they stop, it won't be hard cursing her as well.' Jusenkyo planned. 'Maybe there I can gain some water there, I'm almost gone!'

Chef and ninja servant never noticed what happened.

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The noise generated from the Tendo home was equivalent to a zoo. Not only were there a monkey, a hyena and a panda, but also a fox, a duck, a raccoon, and a cat.

And most of them were pretty upset about being moved around when they slept.

The few "People" that could talk were trying to calm everyone down.

"Now is not the time to spew at each other. We are missing the movie." Kasumi the space angel from a moon far away complained angelic-ly.

"Kasumi dear, why did you do this anyway?" Nodoka spoke up, not nearly as angry as others.

"Well, we were all stressed, so a movie with everyone seemed appropriate." Kasumi smiled as the everlasting glow of her form had made it hard to believe she wasn't an angel.

"Unfortunately, it didn't work, as now we have a barn here." The talking raccoon named Cologne stated the obvious.

"Everyone needed to get used to their cursed forms. Besides, it's more exciting this way." Kasumi reasoned happily.

"Hey it's not like I put you there Akane!" Ranma, still a girl, tried to calm down an angered monkey of a fiancée.

"Aww! Aren't they cute?" Kasumi observed.

"Ooh! I need a camera! Nabiki dear, do you have one I can use?" Nodoka asked a potato chip eating fox.

The fox in question, head still in the bag nodded and pointed upstairs.

"Hey! It's not like that!" Ranma protested.

"EEK!" Akane screamed.

[Yes! They are getting along after all!] Went a panda sign. Flip. [We did it Tendo!]

The Hyena friend laughed in agreement.

"Father, please remain quiet so that we may watch the movie." Kasumi really wanted to do something nice as a family… and guests.

"So… Jusenkyo cursed you to be this… thing." Cologne addressed the oldest Tendo girl. "Í don't recall that spring. Hmmm… Jusenkyo is after anyone then…"

"Oh no, I asked Jusenkyo to bless me. It's exciting to fly!" Kasumi glowed more than she already was.

"Quack!" Mousse agreed.

"Say Immortal!" Nodoka commanded, holding a camera.

"Huh?" Ranma questioned turning around to face her mother.

*Flash* *Click*

"This is going to be this year's Christmas card!" Nodoka squealed.

Ranma moaned at that.

"Please can we get back to the movie?" Kasumi asked, sad. "I wanted to watch it with you."

"*growl* Hisss." A pink cat made her voice heard.

"Please?" Kasumi asked in an expression that Ranma knew too well.

"Of course Kasumi!" Nodoka said. "Now, everyone back to your places. We can be nice to each other for one day."

Everyone reluctantly agreed.

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Konatsu felt… different.

When he washed his face with that rag to conserve water, he felt a strange tingling sensation.

Things didn't seem different, nothing looked smaller or larger, and he didn't see anything odd.

Still, walking down the street with Ukyo he felt… off, somehow.

It was when they stopped at the door to the Tendo's that he finally noticed what was different.

Eyes widened in realization at what had happened. He could feel it when he walked. Although, it took a while to since he was so used to dressing and acting this way.

"Mistress Ukyo?" Konatsu asked in that same, feminine voice. "Do I look different?"

"Huh?" Ukyo turned around and studied her Ninja companion. "No… why?"

"Nothing mistress… I need to do something. Sorry Mistress Ukyo." Konatsu bounced ahead, needing to confirm his thoughts.

"That was weird." Ukyo commented before announcing herself.

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"Ran-chan!" Ukyo called as she entered the Tendo's yard. "I brought the food!"

Ranma's eyes widened as she realized what she forgot.

"So, what was it that you need to talk to me about-" Ukyo stared as she saw animals she didn't recognize watching Bambi.

Kasumi paused the movie; holding in a sigh of disappointment. "Ukyo! How nice to see you!"

"Kasumi!" Ukyo freaked.

Ranma sighed. "At least it didn't get to you. Um… you see, Jusenkyo is mad for some reason and is seeking revenge, cursing everyone."

"It was exciting!" Kasumi smiled.

Ukyo's eye twitch. If Kasumi was cursed, no one is safe.

"I captured it, but the living water escaped." Cologne explained.

"Ah! A talking Raccoon!" Ukyo shrieked.

*Bonk*

"Yes, yes I am." Cologne smirked. "Be careful around water that moves. If it touches you, you're cursed."

"Wait… why are you warning me?" Ukyo narrowed her eyes. "I thought you would want me to be cursed."

"Hiss! Merowll!" Shampoo agreed.

"Just be careful Ucchan." Ranma warned. "Don't forget to tell Konatsu. His life is messed up enough as it is."

"Eek Ecckk!" Akane thrashed around.

"Yes, I'll make sure Ryoga knows." Ranma guessed.

"Ecc?" Akane was stunned.

"So I guessed right?" Ranma asked.

Akane nodded her head, currently in a stupor.

'Ha! I'm figuring her out! I don't need to worry about Ryoga, though. It doesn't mix.' Ranma thought, a plan forming in her head.

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Konatsu, meanwhile, was in a nearby tree, nervous in anticipation.

'I need to feel for myself. I should have known something was off, but, maybe that's why Ranma doesn't notice at times.' Konatsu thought. 'Ok, here I go.'

A hand reached a chest, a very female chest.

Quivering, Konatsu continued exploring.

A quick gentile feel confirmed suspicions.

'I really am a girl. So… that water was Jusenko water. Wait… I still have it.' She pulled out the rag that had water on it.

"Why were you at Mistress Ukyo's restaurant?" The newly formed girl asked to herself.

What she did not expect was for the water to drip down rapidly onto the grass below.

"That was no ordinary Jusekyo water…"

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Ukyo was watching Bambi with everyone else.

After everything quieted down, of course.

Things went well until a certain someone shot Bambi's mother…

"EEKKK!" Akane tried to hide her tears by yelling.

"Nay!" a pink cat cheered.

*crunch* Nabiki hid her grief in eating.

"Aflack?" Mousse heard a gun. Weren't those illegal?

A hyena was howling with laughter, unable to cry…

"Poor deer." Kasumi sniffled.

"No! Don't cry Bambi!" Nodoka talked to the TV.

[Yum!] flip. [Deer tastes good…]

Akane couldn't take the fathers apparent lack of sadness and attacked.

Shampoo saw that opportunity to get revenge on the capuchin rival.

Mousse realized everyone were fighting and got in the fray to save Shampoo.

Ranma rubbed her head. "Ucchan… why are they so upset about hunting deer?"

"Ran-chan you Jackass! Killing doe deer is illegal in America! Not to mention that his mother died!" Ukyo yelled.

"Hey, I don't get emotionally attached to movies." Ranma retorted.

"My Mom is dead, the Tendo's mom is dead, the Kuno's mom is dead, Shampoo's...?" Ukyo looked toward the raccoon, Cologne nodded. "… Mom is dead! We know what it's been like to lose a mom and this… makes it worse!"

"Sorry!" Ranma flinched. 'Why is everything my fault?'

"Don't blame Ranma, he didn't know that he had one until I came along." Nodoka tried to ease things. "Having a certain Panda disallow emotions make it harder."

"Who's stupid enough to think they didn't have a mother?" Ukyo threw her hands into the air.

"Hey!" Ranma heard that.

"Oh My! Please take your fight away from the TV…" Kasumi sounded worried.

"Why did you pick this movie, Kasumi?" Cologne asked, intrigued.

Kasumi looked downcast. "It always got my family together…"

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Jusenkyo finally got inside the house, eyeing the two targets sitting together on the couch.

'Hmmm… who do I pick, I doubt that I can hit both before something happens.' Jusenkyo thought over its options, looking back and forth between the two females.

'Should I go on who deserves it more? No, I can't decide that… just pick one!' The water slipped up to the couch and began slithering up.

'Too bad I can't flip a coin…' Jusenkyo regretted as it neared them.

Suddenly, Konatsu burst through, except she didn't break anything like an Amazon does.

"Mistress Ukyo! There is Jusenkyo water on the loose!" She called out.

Out of time, Jusenkyo jumped on a whim, not caring if it took care of Ukyo or Nodoka first.

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**Author's notes:** well, that's updated. ranma-saotome-cursed-fighter you guessed right! Well, it was obvious. Still. You win! I don't know what, but you do. Now is your chance readers, opinionate your voices, let Noy Telinú know what you like and can guess. You have 1 month to guess who's being cursed next and into what. It's fun being the text of this. I know something you don't know… I know something you don't know… and you don't know and you are going to have ta wait!

I am the Text and I am this message.


	10. Ukyo

The Revenge of Jusenkyo

~Noy Telinú~

**Warning:** you guys know this is fanciction, right? As in, you guys are waiting each month for an illegal fanwork that makes no sense? Noy Telinú doesn't own the stuff! Oh well, by now, I doubt anyone is reading these things anymore.

**Caution:** Jusenkyo water might jump out of the screen! Just kidding, or am I? O_o

**Notice:** that it is almost done. This story is set to be finished this year, so if you want to guess on who's getting cursed into what, then act now. The Text has spoken!

You have been warned…

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Chapter 9: Ukyo

Out of all the people that had to be cursed, Jusenkyo figured out that the most obvious was that for Ukyo.

Of course, Jusenkyo wanted all of them to make sense. Shampoo was cursed to turn into a cat earlier and that made sense since she is considered a pest to Ranma, making it harder for her since she is now the greatest pest.

Soun cries too much, so a hyena would make him laugh it up.

Everyone hates Happosai and not many people like skunks.

Tsubasa is a master of disguise, so is a chameleon.

Konatsu was unexpected, but, it was least disastrous by turning him into a girl.

Nabiki is not only cunning, but a trickster; someone you can't trust but at times need her help. Just like a fox.

Kasumi is seen as an angel, well, why not? Even if that wasn't the plan…

Akane? Well, that one was tricky and her curse shouldn't be too bad, considering that it was her memories that allowed this to happen, so… it was appropriate for her. At least she doesn't need to worry about _that_ anymore.

So, it was quite obvious what Ukyo would be, considering what she is…

"Woof?" Ukyo barked as the water changed her.

'A dog is man's best friend.' Jusenkyo figured as it made a break for the door with the distraction.

'Or in this case, an aquatranssexual's best friend…' Jusenkyo joked to itself. 'That's the best she can hope for, at any rate.'

"Ucchan!" Ranma realized what happened. "There!" Ranma found the water and leapt for it…

*Splash*

Not that she could grab it.

Cologne pogoed away, aiming to find something with which to capture the water.

Konatsu was now at Ukyo's side.

"Mistress Ukyo? Oh no!" Konatsu panicked.

Ukyo growled at the situation.

'Great, I come here and now I have a Jusenkyo curse,' she thought in annoyance. 'Why is everything in black and white?'

"Growllll… woof!" Ukyo tried rubbing her eyes.

"Don't worry, um… I'll get hot water!" Konatsu ran to the kitchen.

The largish brown Bernese mountain dog continued to mess with her face as her senses picked up numerous things.

Meanwhile, the Jusenkyo water was slithering out the door with Ranma crawling, trying to hold it down.

"Hold still!" she shouted, not paying attention to the fight between the animals behind her.

A raccoon on a stick lobbed a bucket over the water as it slipped between Ranma's fingers yet again, trapping it underneath the bucket.

"That should hold it for now. Son-in-law, find something to slip under this bucket," Cologne ordered as she held it down.

Ranma grunted, but did as she said, searching for something in the kitchen.

Kasumi sighed. "There goes my kitchen. If only Ms. Jusenkyo would stop cursing people."

Nodoka agreed with the space angel. "At least Ukyo didn't get too bad of a curse; a dog isn't strange. Although Shampoo won't get along with her at all, being a cat."

Nabiki, still with her bag of potato chips just shrugged and continued to watch the interrupted movie, feeling a bit odd due to being a fox and all.

"Mistress Ukyo, I bring a kettle!" Konatsu announced as she came back with said kettle. "Where would be the best place for her to change?" she asked Kasumi.

"Oh my, the bathroom is down the hall, second door," Kasumi pointed. "You should be safe there."

"Thank you," Konatsu replied, bowing. "Come on, Mistress Ukyo."

The newly cursed dog grunted in agreement and walked towards the bathroom, spatulas somehow staying on her person, bow that was in her hair around her neck like a collar, and shirt staying on. She looked cute from Nodoka's perspective.

"No, like that, turn it that way…" Ranma argued with the raccoon elder, somehow successfully putting a lid on the bucket, allowing it to be removed from the floor.

"We finally captured you, Jusenkyo," Cologne let out a sigh of relief. "Maybe this time it won't be let out."

The fight of the animals calmed down; a panda was beaten and bruised next to an injured hyena while the cat and monkey were strangling each other. There was no sign of a certain duck…

Ranma shivered at the sight of Shampoo.

"Shampoo! Stop it! We are leaving," Cologne said sternly.

"Nya…" Shampoo let go. "*Hiss!*" That didn't stop her from lashing out an insult against her capuchin monkey rival.

Akane growled back.

"Aflaquck!" Mousse called out, flying above the Tendo home.

"Mr. Part-time, we are leaving," Cologne called up to the now visible Mousse.

"Quack?" he seemed to ask, facing another direction.

Cologne sighed, grabbing the bucket before pogo-ing away. "Come, Great-granddaughter."

Shampoo complied, following the raccoon.

"Nya mew mewiss," she shook her little pink cat head.

Mousse eventually found his way to Shampoo, only to end up being pummeled by his cat love.

"At least that's over with," Ranma sighed, relaxing.

Akane nodded her head. "Ecck."

"We have to work on that… although it's good not to understand what you say sometimes…" Ranma smiled in spite of herself.

Akane just glared at her.

"What?" Ranma questioned. "Do you want me to understand your insults?"

"Eeek eeck ekk!" Akane turned away, not having any trouble even though she looked worse for wear.

"You take that back!" Ranma shouted. "… Whatever that meant!"

[Join… schools…] a panda sign read.

"He… hee… how," a hyena agreed in pain.

"Aw... Isn't that sweet?" Nodoka swooned, clearly missing the point. "He wants to understand her when she's a monkey. Take care of her wounds, son. However, it wasn't very ladylike to beat up her father, even though he did laugh at Bambi's mother's death."

Kasumi frowned. "Poor father, I think he has gone mad in his grief."

Ranma facepalmed at that, although she did follow Akane to the bathroom.

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Meanwhile, in said bathroom…

"There, doesn't that feel better Mistress Ukyo?" Konatsu asked as the dog returned to Ukyo.

"Thanks," Ukyo replied, proceeding to put her pants back on. "Did… did something change about you? You seem… more upbeat."

Konatsu blushed in embarrassment. "I feel more natural and less secretive because I am now cursed to be a girl, Mistress Ukyo."

Ukyo's eyes widened and she looked Konatsu up and down, not noticing a difference in appearance in the slightest.

"Now that's what you call ironic," Ukyo stated, surprised that it happened. "Then again, I shouldn't have expected things to be normal around here… but you look exactly the same!"

"Do you require proof, Mistress Ukyo?" Konatsu placed her hands upon her now real chest, ready to remove clothing…

"No, no, no!" Ukyo waved her hands in a warding gesture. "I believe you. I just find it odd that you would have no difference between forms visually. Maybe it's because you were supposed to be a girl due to being a genius female ninja… kunoichi… girl… thing. Wow, I confused myself…"

"Do you require assistance, Mistress Ukyo?" Konatsu asked. "It would not be considered inappropriate for me to dress you now."

"Um…" Ukyo was getting a bit creeped out since she knew that her servant ninja was attracted to her.

Before things got weird… er, the door opened, revealing a capuchin monkey and a redhead girl with a bundle of clothes.

"Why does this keep happening to me?" Ranma groaned as she realized that she walked into someone not completely dressed, since Ukyo was still pulling up her pants.

It was worse that she didn't have any underwear on due to them being stolen too much to care anymore; besides, it was sexier that way. And as she was getting desperate… it made sense… somehow…

*Clang* Ukyo's overly sized giant spatula of doom smashed Ranma into the hallway, letting the clothes drop into the bathroom.

"Ek…" Akane rolled her eyes.

"Sorry, Ran-chan! You scared me." Ukyo pulled up her pants and left to check upon Ranma.

After more than a year of this, Ranma just held her eyes shut, her body making an impression into the wall.

'Sometimes I hate my life,' she thought as she felt herself becoming unstuck, hitting the floor.

Akane eyed the teakettle and took it into the inner bath with her clothes, carefully shutting the door behind her.

Konatsu grabbed her mistress's things and left, knowing full well what Akane liked doing to people in bathrooms.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Ranma answered from the floor. "I just wish that would stop happening to me."

"Are you sure?" Ukyo asked. "Maybe okonomiyaki will make you feel better!" Ukyo dragged Ranma to the kitchen in order to feed him… for his own good, of course.

It was going to be one of those nights…

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Ukyo and Konatsu eventually left, due to a restaurant to work in.

The rest of the night was uneventful, but they knew that the next day would be worse.

Of course, none of them realized that there was a puddle of water underneath the house.

'I may have lost most of my volume, but I'm still here,' Jusenkyo thought as it came up with a plan for its next target. 'Hehe… no one suspected that I'd fall through the floorboards.'

'Nodoka is staying the night? Perfect. I just need to wait until school has started and get her while they are gone,' it plotted.

The last light flickered out as the home above it fell to sleep.

'Ranma won't like it, but she has to be cursed.' Jusenkyo would have sighed if it could.

This will be the last night an uncursed person slept in the Tendo home, for sure.

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"Wow, you look ridiculous, Akane," Ranma commented as they raced to school, both on the sidewalk like they had been for the past month.

"*Grumble* *grumble* shut up," Akane said irritably, covered head to toe in a spandex wetsuit with white stockings over her arms and legs with a white ski mask… and she's not skiing! "I'm not taking any chances at school."

"Aren't you hot, though?" Ranma asked, trying not to laugh. "That's three layers."

"Maybe you like turning into a girl for your own perversions, but I hate my curse!" Akane yelled, effect diminished upon her outfit. How her school uniform fit upon all of that was a mystery.

That made Ranma stop and glare at her. "I hate my curse! I want nothing but to be cured! I do not do… whatever it is you think I'm doing with it!"

"Then why do you get wet all the time?" Akane shouted back.

"Because the curse attracts water!" Ranma yelled. "The more you fight it, the more you'll change!"

"Well, I'm not letting that happen to me!" Akane vowed.

"I bet that you'll get cursed at school because of that!" Ranma predicted.

"Alright, I have Ranma down for cursed at school…" Nabiki made her appearance, somehow behind them. "Want in on it, sis?"

**"What are you doing?"** Akane nearly jumped.

"Taking bets," Nabiki shrugged. "How much do I put you down for, Saotome?"

"Um…" Ranma searched his pockets.

"Honestly!" Akane growled. "Turning something like this into a game!"

Nabiki smirked. "You already played games with cursed people; now that all of us are involved, you have to watch your anger. Justice and revenge are served, little sister."

She didn't know how right she was…

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**Author's notes:** only a few more left. Oh and dog was obvious if you think about it. Dog is friendly, likeable. Ukyo is the only one Ranma is friendly towards. She is like one of the guys and is perfect for it. Just like as a cat, Shampoo sees what she is to Ranma, a pest. Thanks tuatara and Kris Leena for making this easy. Noy really appreciates you two. Telinú is a jerk though... speaking of which, Akane doesn't pick on those with curses _that_ much, but Nabiki is mean... so... idk. There is a poll on favorite stories and since this is the only one that is going to have a conclusion any time soon, any other stories you want updated quickly… it might be a good idea to let Noy Telinú know… just saying. Almost there, until next month, I'm the Text!


	11. Nodoka

The Revenge of Jusenkyo

~Noy Telinú~

**Warning:** people really, really seem to be into shipping way too much in fanfiction. They are scary people and they fight ALL THE TIME when I try to help out Noy by listening to them. The sheer hatred that they have towards each other scares me, the Text. People hate Akane on one side, adore her on the other and I'm here just trying to help but noOo… just because Noy says some negative things about one character, a fight breaks out! Then, as Noy tries to write here, more stuff happens and… just, please, can we all get along? Akane isn't perfect, Ranma IS a jerk, Ukyo and Shampoo are violent just please, stop with the hatred. Your favorite character isn't perfect! Rumiko should be ashamed of you! She hates perfect characters and you turn hers into that. And for those who does the opposite, that's just cruel. Just because you hate a character doesn't mean you should turn them into a monster. *sigh* Just… just read and… thank you for coming… Noy Telinú appreciates it. Sorry for ranting again…

**Notice:** that I really hate the fandom fighting itself. Sorry.

You have been warned…

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Chapter 10: Nodoka

"Hey, Ucchan," Ranma acknowledged her as he sat in class with Akane as well.

"Um… why is Akane dressed like that?" Ukyo asked, seeing Akane's… 'protection' against water.

Ranma rolled his eyes. "She thinks she can escape water. Nabiki is running a bet on it happening."

"Here, place me for 9,000 yen," Ukyo handed Ranma the money. "I hate talking to her."

"So do I," Ranma groaned.

"Honestly!" Akane shouted. "What is wrong with everyone today?"

"Pssst…. Akane!" Yuka whispered. "Why are you dressed like that?"

"*Grumble grumble* Stupid… *grumble grumble*" Akane couldn't face her.

Ranma shrugged. "She's just…"

*Kapow!* Ranma was sent flying through the window by Akane's fist.

Ukyo rolled her eyes. "You could've just told him to keep quiet about it."

"About what?" Yuka asked. "Tell me!"

"I don't think that's a good idea," Ukyo told the girl. "Ask Nabiki."

"But… but I hate doing that!" Yuka whined.

"Everyone does," Ukyo nodded, rubbing her chin.

Akane mumbled something about sisters and backs and stabbing.

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Nodoka was outside the Tendo home, near the koi pond.

Ever since she found out that Ranko Tendo was really her son Ranma Saotome, she had been trying to piece together what happened between the times that she saw her son.

'They are always in this koi pond… why is it?' Nodoka thought, wondering why it always happened like that upon hearing that the Jusenkyo curses like being used.

It didn't come to mind that it was just the nearest cold water source.

'Maybe because the koi are special… Kasumi said that they were never replaced ever… hmmm…' Nodoka was too busy watching the koi to notice water sneaking up on her.

'Or perhaps these rocks… Nabiki had said these rocks were hard enough to cause my son to get amnesia…' Nodoka tapped them with her sword to be sure.

"Auntie! I have lunch!" Kasumi smiled angelically, because she was an angel at the time…

*Splash* Jusenkyo washed all over the woman, changing her drastically.

"Growf!" Genma freaked upon seeing his wife change.

"HAaA?" Soun agreed.

**"OH my!"** Kasumi exclaimed, tray of food dropping in slow motion.

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"Stupid tomboy," Ranma rubbed his nose. "Everyone's going to find out anyway."

*Slurrpppp* went a straw.

"Hey, Saotome," Nabiki noticed Ranma without moving her head.

The middle Tendo was lounging on the pool chair next to the pool in a bikini.

"What the… Nabiki! Why are you out here?" Ranma did a double take.

The girl in question shrugged. "Just told the school I have a medical condition that forces me to miss class… they bought it."

Ranma facepalmed. "Right… anyway, Ukyo put 9,000 yen on Akane getting wet. Here."

"Let's see, with that in place looks like us three can gain a lot of money… no one else bet on her getting wet once I told them that you bet on that."

**"What?"** Ranma was shocked. "But I… that… Me! Win! What?"

"I know, it surprised me too. Apparently they think you're terrible at betting. Must be because of the old maid games," Nabiki figured.

Ranma shook his head. "Whatever. Should get back to class anyway."

"Why? So my sister would hit you out again? Just relax here. Odds are that she would land in the pool anyway."

Ranma weighed his options. 'Nabiki is really good when it comes to money and predicting stuff when it comes to Jusenkyo. Then again, my luck is terrible at this so that means by me staying here, Akane won't come into the pool. However, my first time getting wet at school was in this pool…'

Ranma didn't get a choice after a water bucket hit him in the head, spilling the cold water over him.

Ranma looked up to see Kuno overlooking the pool, buckets in hands.

Sighing, Ranma sat down on a chair next to Nabiki.

"Potato chip?" Nabiki offered a bag.

Ranma gave up and took the bag. "Where'd you get these anyway? I always see you with them lately."

"Mousse. Apparently he's getting into the potato chip business. Said something about wanting to be better than you at anything," Nabiki shrugged.

"I don't even want to know. Hope he doesn't try to kill me again. It's getting annoying." Ranma munched on a potato chip.

The two girls ate potato chips, waiting for something to happen.

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"Something is not right…" Cologne mused while watching the water they gained from the Tendo home. "It isn't moving…"

"Maybe Jusenkyo give up, yes?" Shampoo scratched her head.

"Perhaps… where is Mousse?"

Shampoo shrugged her shoulders. "Shampoo no care."

"Of course…" Cologne closed her eyes.

"What do now?" Shampoo asked.

"I don't know. Time to go to work." Cologne poggoed away.

"Yes, Great-grandmother." Shampoo put the water away… the ordinary water.

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**"Kuno! Why bring a bomb to school?"** Akane yelled as Kuno held a bomb up to her.

"What sorcery is _this_? The merchant **swore** to me, the Blue Thunder, that it was most definitely not a bomb. He dare **lie** to a Kuno?" Kuno yelled to the heavens.

***Kaboom!*** The bomb blew up the hallway, sending participants flying.

Down below Ranma's eyes widened. "Wow… what caused that?"

"I have no idea… wonder who he was fighting." Nabiki munched on potato chips.

"Fighting?" Ranma grew nervous.

*Splash* A body hit the pool… hard.

"Oh… don't tell me…" Ranma stood up.

Layers of clothes floated on the surface…

"Akane!" Ranma dove into the pool.

Down below, Akane, the capuchin monkey was wondering what was going on.

She did what she thought was how you were supposed to swim, breathing underwater… however, this time… it didn't burn her lungs… actually… it didn't hurt at all.

'I finally learned to swim!' she thought of an answer. 'Yes! Yes! Yes!'

For some reason, she felt like punching someone… whatever.

Ranma was in shock as she saw Akane walking on the bottom of the pool.

'What is going on…?' Ranma shook her head. 'No time to think about it.'

'Hey, look, it's Ranma!' Akane smiled. 'Ha! I can swim now!'

Ranma picked up Akane and brought her to the surface.

'Hey! I can swim you know…' Akane thought angry thoughts at her fiancé.

"*Cough* Akane… What happened?" Ranma asked as she reached the surface.

"EEK eck eek!" Akane screeched.

"Right… you think you can swim now?" Ranma guessed.

Akane nodded.

"And… you are mad that I brought you out…"

She nodded again.

"Um… no. I don't want your dad to kill me… but whatever you did, it wasn't swimming…" Ranma shook her head as she reached the edge…

…Just to meet an angry fox with a bag of potato chips.

The girl and her monkey fiancée laughed at the image.

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"Sugar… I feel like **I** should charge _you_ for this hot water," Ukyo smirked as she dangled the teakettle over the fox's head.

"Oh, just do it already." Ranma was still a girl as they were in the girls' restroom so that Akane could get clothes on.

"Fine…" Ukyo poured water over Nabiki, who didn't cover herself.

"I should have known that I'd get wet. Figures." Nabiki put on her bikini again. "I suggest that Ranma get out of here before something really bad happens."

"He'd better not be in here when I'm out!" Akane yelled from a stall.

Ranma didn't take any more chances and bolted with the teakettle.

However, before she poured the water upon herself… everything glass shattered when the loudest roar Ranma has ever heard bellowed throughout the school.

Screams of people who didn't know better were heard.

"Ow…" Ranma rubbed her ears. "That hurt. What was that, anyway?"

Shrugging, she poured the water over herself… or would have if the teakettle wasn't slashed in half with a piece of glass moments ago.

The grumbling Ranma was soon surrounded by the other cursed girls as they left the restroom.

"Ranma! What did you do?" Akane accused.

"I didn't do it!" Ranma responded.

"Come on, Akane, how could Ranchan scream like that?" Ukyo rolled her eyes.

"She's got a point, sis," Nabiki agreed. "You can yell at him _after_ he runs straight at it."

"Hey!" Ranma threw her arms into the air.

"Fine, so it wasn't Ranma. It's just a kneejerk reaction with that jerk." Akane crossed her arms.

Nabiki rolled her eyes. "And that's why you were clinging onto him as a monkey."

**"What?"** Ukyo exploded. "That's cheating!"

"Um… it appears that things are broken… I'm going home! Bye!" Ranma ran off.

**"How is that cheating?"** Akane shouted.

"So you admit it…" Nabiki teased.

Akane blushed and turn away.

"Curse you… poo flinger!" Ukyo had to think of something to insult Akane with. She cheated!

"What? Why you…" Akane thought of an insult. "You Japanese dog!"

"We are all Japanese, you idiot!" Ukyo yelled.

"Uh huh… you guys come up with bad insults… I'm going to count my money." Nabiki walked away.

"Female dog!"

"Flea eater!"

"Butt smeller!"

"Tree hugger!"

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"OH MY!" Kasumi said it again. "Auntie is so cute!"

The panda and hyena looked towards the space angel in confusion.

'What have I become? Everything feels so different. I have a tail. I'd better be careful. I know! There is the koi pond… maybe I can see myself,' Nodoka thought as she looked upon herself.

The dragon was five feet tall at the shoulder, her body from head to tail was 32 feet and two inches, and the wings were 28 feet and four inches in length.

'No… no!' Nodoka thought in horror. 'I'm… a WESTERN dragon! Oh, the horror!'

The dragon had a frill that looked like braided hair surrounding her head like a desert lizard. She had a deep, dark red body that filled the yard.

She roared unimaginably loudly in her discovery, breaking glass for miles.

[Help!] Genma held up a sign. [Don't eat me!]

Soun laughed madly, as he was scared witless.

"Want to fly with me, Auntie? It's very exhilarating," Kasumi smiled.

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**Author's notes:** yes… a dragon! It's perfect. Telinú is crazy, but this fits well. What can make a panda scream in fear… a Dragon. What is killed by swords? Dragons. What is majestic yet powerful that everyone worships or fears? Dragons. What is the opposite of Japanese traditional? Western. It's ingénues! So… you are all wrong! Good idea, but wrong. Besides, there was no male water in Jusenkyo anyway. Thanks tuatara and Kris Leena for keeping this in check. For some reason, this is the only one that updates on time... oh well... until you read again... I'm The TEXT!


	12. Akari

The Revenge of Jusenkyo

~Noy Telinú~

**Warning:** you are currently reading material from fanfiction dot net. By doing so, you have acknowledged that this is fanfiction. As such, Noy does not own what is being fan fic-ed upon. Do I even have to tell you anymore? Seriously, it's so friggin obvious. And as the Text, I must say I am ashamed if it took this long to figure this out. Come on man!

**Thanks!:** to tuatara and Kris Leena for making my job easier. I would also want to thank the readers, who allows me to be happy. And to Noy Telinú for hiring me. And for the academy, for this award as the best piece of text ever! As the Text I accept this award gladly. Lastly, thank you Rumiko for making a series so good that Noy Telinú and many, many others can write fanfiction about your children. I... *sniff* I love you!

You have been warned…

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Chapter 11: Akari

Ranma Saotome, irritated female (at the moment) martial artist was racing towards the sound of the thunderous roar that robbed her of her manhood.

Roof-hopping, she surveyed the area for anything weird. (To normal people, that is.)

After half an hour of searching, she gave up and decided to go to the Tendo home.

"Ranma!" Nodoka was surprised to see her son home. "Doesn't school get out later?"

Ranma chuckled and scratched the base of her pigtail. "About that… the school had problems and there was this loud roar so I kinda left to search for whatever it was."

"I see." Her mother looked away. "Son, I know where the dragon went…"

"A dragon?" Ranma's eye twitched. 'Aw, man… this is gonna hurt.'

"Yes, you see… the Jusenkyo water escaped."

Ranma's eyes widened. "No! It got you, didn't it!"

Nodoka just nodded and grabbed Ranma's shoulders.

"Ranma, it's true. I am cursed now as well. Attacking the water won't do anything."

"But…" Ranma was struggling to hold back tears. "How could it do it to you? I… I…"

She was glomped by her mother.

"It is alright to cry. I won't hold it against you. Being cursed has… changed… my outlook on this…" Nodoka stroked Ranma's red hair. "Son, don't look for revenge… I deserve this. I haven't been very ladylike or motherly to you. I should have never tried to enforce the seppuku pledge. You are more manly than I could have ever had hoped for."

"…Mom?" Ranma, despite her mother's permission, still didn't want to cry in her arms.

"Be yourself, my son. You make me so proud." Nodoka closed her eyes, a silent tear rolled down her face.

*Click* *Flash!* A camera went off.

"This is soo cuuute!" Kasumi smiled. "Now, doesn't it feel better, Auntie?"

"Huh?" Ranma was confused at the scene.

"Ms. Jusenkyo wasn't very nice to curse Auntie, but she explained herself that it was necessary." Kasumi grabbed a kettle. "Besides, Auntie needed to learn to appreciate her child. Hot water?"

Ranma nodded as she became he in his mother's arms.

"Oh my, where are my sisters?" Kasumi realized who was missing.

"Son, you didn't leave them behind, did you?" Nodoka looked into her son's eyes.

"Hee hee… about that…" Ranma tried to think of a way out of the situation.

That's when his luck turned for the better and a pig squeal was heard.

"See, Ryoga? Katsunishiki knows where the Tendos live," Akari said so happily, just outside the Tendo walls.

"Sorry I doubted you, Katsunishiki," Ryoga apologized.

"Squeeall!" the giant sumo pig replied.

"Ryoga's here!" Ranma ran towards them, glad for the distraction.

Jumping on the wall to look down at the three, Ranma smirked. "How ya doing, P-chan?"

Ryoga's mood changed to rage. "Don't call me that!"

"That's the Ryoga I know! What have you been up to? I haven't seen you in weeks…" Ranma teased.

"Ryoga was staying at my grandfather's farm. He kept getting lost, but always found his way back." Akari climbed off her sumo pig.

Behind Ranma, the Jusenkyo water, now very small, climbed up the wall.

"So, why are you here, anyway?" Ranma asked, curious.

"It's none of your business!" Ryoga shouted angrily.

Ranma rolled his eyes. "Like I believe _that_."

The two stared at each other, one with anger, and the other with smugness. Ryoga was going to lose it when Akari spoke up.

"How is water moving like that?" the girl wondered aloud.

Ranma broke his gaze with Ryoga and looked at where Akari was staring.

There, the Jusenkyo water was on top of the wall, moving away from the pigtailed boy.

Ranma jumped on it immediately.

**"Why'd you do it?"** he screamed at the top of his lungs.

The water slipped through his fingers that became her fingers and shot past.

Akari and Ryoga stared in confusion as Ranma yelled at the moving water.

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Not far away, a monkey and a fox were riding a dog on the way towards the Tendo dojo.

"Grrr… Woof!" Ukyo barked. 'Stupid bet. I should have known this would happen,' the chef-turned-dog thought as she carried Akane and Nabiki home. 'Ladle lady, I gotta watch out for her.'

"Eek EE!" Akane complained. 'Why did Nabiki bet that we would get wet? And why didn't I believe her? I can walk on my own!'

*Munch crunch* Nabiki had her face in a bag of potato chips.

'At least Akane is back to denial,' Ukyo thought. 'But this way I can see Ran-chan. Too bad I have to carry them.'

'Nabiki is so… huh? Isn't that Ryoga?' Akane thought as she looked on ahead.

*Sniff* Ukyo smelled Ranma. Looking up, she saw his female form on the wall of the Tendos, messing with… water.

Ukyo started running, the monkey and fox on her back bobbing up and down.

Suddenly, she screeched to a stop as the water Ranma was yelling at flew towards Ryoga and Akari.

All three animals' eyes grew wide at what they saw.

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As Jusenkyo fell off the wall, it started to panic. 'Not Akari! She didn't do anything!'

Unfortunately for all involved, the water hit them both in the face and was swallowed by the confused couple.

"Brwee!" Ryoga squealed as he became a piglet again.

He growled at Ranma before his focus shifted as he looked at Akari.

There, instead of the girl who came to love him in spite of becoming a piglet, was… a piglet.

A pink, hat wearing piglet.

"Oh my!" Kasumi noted as she and Nodoka stood watching from the gate. "I thought Ms. Jusenkyo was headed out towards the Kunos."

"It's a shame," Nodoka shook her head. "I'll get the hot water."

"Snoik?" Akari looked at herself in shock.

"Sorry about that, Akari," Ranma said guiltily. "That was living Jusenkyo water that has been cursing everyone. I tried to stop it…"

Ryoga bit Ranma's hand.

"Ow! You little! I didn't _try_ to curse your girlfriend!" Ranma smashed him into the ground. "At least she's the same species as you!"

The two rivals fought, as Ryoga blamed Ranma for making his life hell and Ranma insisted it wasn't his fault.

They stopped when a dog caring a monkey and a fox barked at them.

Ranma had P-chan by his bandana and turned to see her audience.

"What happened to you three?" Ranma asked.

"Ee Ekk Eck EEck!" Akane screeched.

"Nabiki actually bet that you would all get splashed on the way home and Ukyo had to carry you two? That's just stupid, Akane," Ranma shook her head.

"Bree!" Ryoga realized that Akane was now a capuchin monkey!

The angry piglet bit Ranma again.

"Stop it, would ya!" Ranma smashed him into the ground.

Akane leapt at Ranma's face.

"Eck! EEEk!" Akane hit Ranma on the head before sitting on her shoulder.

"It's not picking on Ryoga if…" Ranma's eyes grew wide.

'Why does Ranma have to keep picking on Ryoga?' Akane thought in anger. 'He gets cursed to become P-chan and now he's hurting him! Poor P-chan… may you rest in peace. I'm sure Ryoga will not ruin your image, though.'

"Everyone, come inside, we have hot water!" Nodoka came out with a kettle.

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Inside, after everyone was human again, Ryoga was out cold and being nursed by Akari.

"Poor Ryoga… getting curseed has put him in shock," Akane pitied her friend.

"Hey Akane, doesn't Ryoga look like P-chan?" Ukyo asked, curious.

Akane lowered her head. "P-chan must have drowned at Jusenkyo."

Akari looked up. "No, he..."

She was cut off by Ranma. "Yes, poor P-chan drowned at Jusenkyo. He will be missed."

Akari was confused. "But…"

Ranma looked at her. "P-chan… drowned… at Jusenkyo…" He said each word deliberately slowly, emphasizing them all.

"Ranma, stop it!" Akane growled. "He's already dead. Stop making it worse."

The blue-haired girl didn't mean to react like that, but the circumstances forced her.

"Hey sis, I bet…" Nabiki was cut off by Akane.

"I'm not betting with you!" Akane screamed.

"Whoa, calm down, Akane," Ukyo spoke up. "Wait, are you sure that there isn't any more Jusenkyo water running around?"

"Ryoga and I drank most of it…" Akari answered. "I don't think so."

"Speaking of which…" Ranma got down to Ryoga's ear. "Hey, pork chop! Wake up!"

That startled Ryoga enough to catapult upwards. "Ranma! Don't…" That's when he noticed the other people in the room, especially Akane.

He froze up upon seeing her.

"Ryoga, dear?" Akari knelled in front of him. "Are you alright?"

"Ak-karii!" Ryoga sputtered. 'Whew, I thought I had to face Akane without explaining myself first… on no, she's there.'

"Now Ryoga, remember what you promised me when we came here?" Akari tried to remind Ryoga.

"I… but! Ah… you're right… Akane… I… I… I… I did… something horrible." Ryoga couldn't look into Akane's eyes.

"What?" Akane asked nervously.

Ranma, out for his own skin, crept away, somehow knowing that the beans would be spilled now.

"I… you see, Akane… I didn't mean to! But you were so nice to me! I… I couldn't help it…" Ryoga rambled.

Everyone else in the room wore a confused look on their face… except Kasumi of course; she smiled with a tray of tea for everyone.

"I… I watched over you, heard your secrets… I you told me everything that was dear to you… I couldn't stop!" Ryoga wailed.

Kasumi was handing out tea to everyone, all watching the lost boy.

Nabiki declined, opting instead for Team Four Star Soda… and a muffin… a blueberry muffin.

"I pretended to be one thing, but used it in a way I wasn't supposed to… I betrayed your trust… I… I hated it, but I couldn't stop… even when everyone else knew," Ryoga continued.

**"WHAT! EVERYONE KNEW?"** Akane yelled at the top of her voice.

Those in the room all denied knowing anything. Well, Ukyo and Nodoka did. Nabiki didn't answer, Kasumi was giving out cookies and Akari was comforting Ryoga.

"Don't blame them, it's… It's my fault… I… should have told you that first day, but the bed was so warm… I… it was so… comforting…" Ryoga struggled. "Then… then I ended up… liking you… a lot… but… Ranma was around… and I… knew that you would never forgive me… but, I needed to tell you, so that I could get it over with. Though I will miss being your pet… please forgive me…"

Eerie silence followed. Ryoga waited to be beaten up like he saw her do to Ranma; Akane stared dumbly at the back of his head; Ukyo was irritated as she figured out that Ryoga was P-chan; Nodoka wondered what was happening and why this boy was being so unmaly-y vauge; Kasumi sipped tea; Akari waited for Akane to snap; Nabiki… ate her muffin.

Eventually, crickets were heard as some Japanese woman released them in the area.

Ranma waited on a nearby roof, in female form with an ice cream cone in her hand, waiting for the fireworks.

Genma snored as he was still hung over; Soun was unconscious next to him.

Over at the Cat Café, the Amazons were playing a children's card game to determine who would wash the dishes.

A few wards southeast, a skunk was annoying a cat; he seemed very French for some reason and was old and wrinkly with a pair of rabbit panties on his head.

In an okonomiyaki restaurant, a ninja girl was poking a chameleon with a stick.

In the richest home in the area, a whole family felt very lucky for some reason.

The chirping stopped when a frog ate the crickets.

Finally, the silence was broken.

"Ryoga," Akane asked, "what exactly did you do?"

The chef, the pig farmer and the ice-cream-eating redhead waiting outside all facefaulted.

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**Author's notes:** yeah, I realize that too… Akane finding out, yet not finding out? Oh and who can guess what Akane is? It's really obvious… what monkey is a capuchin, can breathe underwater (sorta) and is stated to be immortal? I will be sure you figure it out or my name isn't the Text! Which it is…


	13. Epilogue

The Revenge of Jusenkyo

~Noy Telinú~

**Warning:** this is the end. No, not like that! Jeeze! There is no more story beyond this. Well, there is, but… it's a sequel… sort of… I am the TEXT!

**Finally!:** Hee he he he he! *self destructs* Wharpt got it right in a secret code way while Za Ryoushi just blurted it out. This makes the most sense for Akane since Noy is WMG-ing that Ranma's female form stops aging around 19 since it's a spring a drowned GIRL, not WOMAN or FEMALE HUMAN. So… it's perfect! ^_^

**Caution:** Richard Ryley, Noy has told me that Akane is about 50-50 in chances that she knows subconsciously. What makes it not guaranteed is that a super tough piglet is in the realm of possibility in Akane's beliefs. That and I think I remember that she thought it was Ryoga's pet. Besides, it's akin to Kodachi's situation. Did anyone actually tell either of them about Jusenkyo's curses on whom they have blinds spots to? It's always iffy with them. Besides, Akane might block it subconsciously because she can't believe Ryoga would do that. Kinda like Clark Kent or other superheroes. Lastly, it's for laughs. Remember that now.

**Thanks:** Kris Leena and tuatara have been helping out the whole time. Ever since Noy told Kris that the characters would get these curses when cursed, they have been there, making my job easier. Thank you for everything… and stuff.

**Merry Christmas:** this is the internet's Christmas present from Noy Telinú. Take that political correctness!

You have been warned…

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Epilogue: Everyone's cursed, Dave.

And so, like every day before it, Ryoga Hibiki got lost. This time it was with his girlfriend carried on top of his head while a giant pig followed them. Life had never been more weird.

Life changed for all that inhabited the Furinkan area. Things would never be the same. The Jusenkyo water was getting its real revenge, the destruction of the status quo.

Oh, there were still fights and teasing and smacking each other for no reason, but, it wasn't the same. Not the same at all for one pigtailed girl.

For now, her cursed body was no longer a freak; in fact, it was the opposite. In the wake of this episode, Ranma has come to realize finally that there were a whole lot worse things than turning into a girl. It probably helped that everyone important was now cursed…

However, that is another story, one that has yet to be seen. For before that tale is told, this one needs to be finished.

You see, if there is one thing that you should know about those who live or visit the northern ward of Tokyo… it is that they are determined….

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It was a dark and clear night; rain was nowhere to be seen. The mansion castle of the great Kuno clan thundered in the blue.

Approaching it was water, a certain water. A watery water that waters like… water… Jusenkyo… and it… is… wet.

The tiny puddle of water rolled awkwardly towards the home of the Kunos. Surviving was hard to do sometimes.

Nevertheless, it was here, here to finish the job no matter the consequences.

OK, so it was only big enough for one, but… close enough.

'Thank you, whoever gave piglets small bladders!' Jusenkyo thought as it neared its target. 'Still… cursing Akari will always be one of the worst mistakes I've ever made.'

The water seeped over the wall and searched for its prey.

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Meanwhile…the potential victim the first was seething in rage in his private chambers.

"How dare he?" the Blue Thunder roared. "The foul sorcerer Ranma Saotome has gone too far! Using his evil ways, he blasted the tigress Akane in a furious rage! To think, that I, the great Blue Thunder of Furinkan High would ever be foolish enough to believe that the dear maiden Akane Tendo would willingly run away from my prowess to only be replaced by a common primate! And the gall to call it Akane Tendo! It even fooled her own sister! Nay, I, Tatewaki Kuno will not be fooled by such outlandish lies! The sorcerer's power grows; I must save Akane and the glorious pigtailed girl at once!"

With that, he raised his bokken up in the air… on his bed, where the rest of his body was in a giant cast.

"Sasuke! Assist your master at once!" the delusional Kuno demanded. (Wait… that's redundant!)

In the next room over, a ninja sighed in dismay.

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The magical water of Jusenkyo finally entered the home.

'Now… since I can only choose one… which should it be? He bugs both Ranma and Akane and really needs to stop being so blind. On the other hand, she would most likely learn **something** from being cursed. Especially since she is more of a threat,' the Jusenkyo water thought as it sloshed on the floor. 'It's a shame I'm too small and only have one curse left…I'll let fate decide.'

With that, the water headed off in a random direction, knowing that a Kuno would be cursed tonight.

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In another room, one Kodachi laughed evilly. After all, while making powders and drugs to use for ensnaring someone who didn't want to be ensnared, it's hard not to laugh evilly.

Of course, her evil laugh was that of a noblewoman and therefore downright creepy as well.

"Oh ho oh hohoho!" she laughed. "Yes, soon Ranma darling will no longer be able to resist me!"

She pulled the lever, causing an explosion of light and sound that would have impressed any mere commoner.

The sickly green mixture bubbled and smoked, its glow the only light in the blackness of the room.

"Yes, soon it will be complete and Ranma darling will be mine!" She laughed again. "Now, where can I find a snake?"

The potential victim the second laughed her way to the door, jumping all the while.

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Sasuke shivered again as he heard Kodachi's laugh.

'It's **that** laugh again…' he thought darkly. 'Mistress Kodachi is making that goo again.'

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, the little ninja servant almost missed seeing water slither along the floorboards.

The poor guy jumped back in surprise.

"No! She did it again!" he screamed and ran off to hide. Preferably far away. Like Italy… Italy was nice this time of year.

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The waters of Jusenkyo finally found a Kuno to curse.

There, unawares and not paying attention was the prey. A Kuno to curse.

'Too bad I had to decide amongst siblings. Where is that pineapple prinapal when you need him?' The water would have shrugged if it could as it wrapped around the Kuno's legs, causing a scream to be heard before slipping into something much, much worse…

"SSssssSsssS!" the black mamba snake hissed as the last of the Jusenkyo water was no more.

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The Kuno… oh, the heck with it… Kodachi hissed as she looked around in surprise and… maybe a little bit of fear… a little bit, not a lot, for the Kuno family fears nothing… except turning into snakes.

'What madness is this?' the snake that was Kodachi thought as she began slithering on the ground towards the door.

'I! I'm… I'm a snake! **Who would dare do this to a Kuno?** Ah! The pigtailed girl! Her wickedness knows no bounds! Turning me into a snake so she can have my Ranma darling to herself! Sasuke! Fetch transportation!' Kodachi held her head up high.

But all that came put was a hiss.

'Of course! She turned me into a snake! Well, no matter, I shall get her anyway; for she has stupidly given me the last ingredient to gain my Ranma darling!' Kodachi tried to laugh.

"SS SS SSS SS S!" it comes out.

'Right…' she thought quickly. 'Now, what sort of snake am I? Hmmm…'

She curled to get a better look of herself.

'Let's see… that there, coloring like that… Oh ho ho hoho! A black mamba! Excellent! This will make for the best concoction.'

She slithered up to her green glowing doom goo and bit into the cup next to it, designed to milk snakes for venom.

After a few minutes, she knocked the venom into the goo, eagerly waiting for what would happen next…

*BOOM!* The place exploded violently, sending a charred snake flying up, up and away.

'Back to the drawing board. Apparently, black mamba venom is too strong for the experiment. Curse you, pigtailed girl!' Kodachi cursed to herself as she flew across the sky.

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In the sky, a certain dragon was going over her thoughts.

'Perhaps Kasumi is right… but, is the physical well-being of my family more important than tradition and honor?' Nodoka thought as she flew. 'Due to that water, I myself am not "traditional" anymore. Is it a sign to change my ways? Are these curses designed to help us become better people? Is that why my son is cursed to be a girl? Because I agreed to my husband's demand?'

She continued to fly, not caring for the explosion she heard below.

'Is that why I'm a western dragon? Am I supposed to take this as a sign to change? Wait… didn't Akane say it was to get revenge on those who hurt my child? Then…is it that I must change and accept who he is? But I do accept him. What did I do? All I asked is for him to-' Nodoka's eyes widened.

'To be manly… that's what this is about, isn't it? Then, am I do consider the contract fulfilled? Is that it? But he isn't manly until he marries a fine woman, a woman who is womanly enough to be a woman and not a girl anymore. Am I wrong? Do I need to change the meaning of 'manly'? Is that it? Oh please, if it is true, give me a sign!' Nodoka pleaded.

At that moment, Kodachi the snake flew by and hit Nodoka the western dragon in the face.

*Blink, blink* the dragon blinked as Kodachi stared her in the eyes.

The Kuno snake stared in awe. 'A dragon, a magnificent beast! So pretty…'

'Is this the sign? A snake on my face? Yes, perhaps this is… I will do as you wish, ancestors. Seppuku is not the way today…' Nodoka smiled, a tear forming in her eye.

'NO! The dragon is hurt! What have you done now, pigtailed girl?' Kodachi cried out mentally.

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The two reptiles landed down on the Tendo lawn, Nodoka not even disturbing the trees.

Kasumi was there, a kettle in her hands, as she smiled like the space angel she sometimes was.

"Here, Auntie. Everyone is already asleep," Kasumi smiled.

She poured the water over the dragon, accidently getting some on Kodachi as the water splashed about.

Of course, this led to one shell-shocked and human Kodachi lying on top of a nude Nodoka, the two females sprawled on the ground.

"Oh my!" 'oh my'ed Kasumi. "Here, let me get you some clothes."

"What? I… I am myself again? And… *gasp* Mother! I humbly apologize for being on your face." Kodachi got off and bowed humbly.

Nodoka kneeled, regaining her bearings to see Kodachi bowing humbly.

"Kodachi? You were the snake?" Nodioka asked, her voice unwavering. "And please, I said it before, I am not your mother."

"Of course you aren't… yet. But I must accommodate myself to addressing my soon-to-be mother-in-law as 'Mother' in order to nurture our ever-growing relationship. Besides, my mother no longer exists," Kodachi pleaded with Nodoka.

"I understand, but I cannot let you be calling me that, not until you are legitimate…" Nodoka explained. "That also means getting Ranma to accept you and for you to accept him, not trying to kill him on occasion."

"That's preposterous! I would never murder my Ranma darling, your son. I only attempt to immobilize him so that he may accept my affections all the better," Kodachi countered.

Nodoka shook her head. "While I see no problem in that, aside from the fact that being immobile is unmanly, harboring murderous intent for his cursed form is not healthy for a relationship."

"Cursed? That pigtailed witch cursed my beloved? How dare she!" Kodachi looked murderous.

"Pigtailed witch?" Nodoka asked, confused.

"Yes, a girl in a pigtail… steals the clothes of my destined, hair a sharp red… much like yours, by the way…" Kodachi tilted her head. 'Is that wicked girl related to Mother?'

"Oh… you don't know… Kodachi, come in. We have much to discuss…" Nodoka led the Kuno girl inside.

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"No… it's not true… THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" Kodachi shivered, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Kodachi, you know it is true…" Nodoka tried to comfort her.

"NOOO! Ah, no…" Kodachi sobbed violently and incomprehensibly.

*Stomp stomp stompity stomp* came the noise from the stairs.

"What's all the racket! I'm trying to sleep!" Akane yelled, irritably.

"Akane, dear, I was just explaining Ranma's curse to Kodachi." Nodoka smiled.

"Huh?" Akane rubbed her eyes and was now able to see Kodachi and Nodoka naked at the table with kettles and buckets around.

Kodachi sobbed more and fell over onto the ground with a thud.

"Oh… wait, it actually worked?" Akane raised her eyebrows in shock.

Nodoka nodded. "Her own curse allowed for a more open mind when dealing with things."

"Oh…" Akane looked down. "Still… why are you NAKED?"

Nodoka blinked. "It saves time and clothing to activate the curse while nude Akane, you should know that."

"… Whatever, I'm going to bed…" Akane retreated to her room.

Nodoka shook her head. "These last thirty-six hours haven't been good to us."

Kodachi sobbed more.

"There, there… it will get better…" Nodoka tried to calm the situation.

"No it wo-o-on't!" Kodachi sobbed. "He hates me because I tried to kill him and accused him of stealing himse-e-elf!"

"Shh… relax, my son doesn't hate…" Nodoka rubbed Kodachi's shoulder.

"But he fears me… he fears me and runs away because I never showed him love for his other self… I'm such a bad person!" Kodachi cried more.

Nodoka brought her onto her lap. "Relax…"

"All this time I could have had a cute redhead AND a stud… Why was I so blind!" Kodachi sobbed. "Ranma… is a bisexual's dream come true! And I threw it away! I'm so ashamed!"

"You are willing to love Ranma's female body?" Nodoka asked in surprise.

Kodachi nodded. "I only tried to kill her because I thought she was in the way to my happiness. But now… she is my happiness… why should I not enjoy her female flesh?"

Nodoka smiled. "I am glad. My son would do well if he chose you."

Kodachi stammered. "Re-rea-eally?"

"Yes. Tell you what, you apologize to my son, make up for what you did and I'll consider your claim…" Nodoka didn't finish her sentence as Kodachi glomped her.

"Thank you! Thankyousomuch!" Kodachi hugged. "I will make it up to my Ranma darling! I will! Where is Nabiki Tendo? I have a desire to purchase posters of my beloved."

"She's sleeping. Do it tomorrow; we all need our rest," Nodoka ordered.

"Yes… as you command… Auntie." Kodachi then left, laughing as usual, but those who heard noticed it was a bit more merry that night.

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Jusenkyo, done with its mission, rested again, drawing those who are called towards its springs.

Getting up and cursing those people was fun, to say the least. The chaos would grow more each day.

That is why you don't mess with Jusenkyo or its children. For it will have its revenge.

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•

**Author's notes:** There! Finished! Now you can continue this as a starting point for YOUR fic, just remember to say that it's a continuation of this fic. Confusing others will get you no where. There will be a sequel by Noy… eventually, and another in a different direction… and so on, like a tree. Noy Telinú thanks you for reading this story. I hope you enjoyed it. I know I did. Thank you Rumiko for your manga Ranma ½, for none of this would happen without you. Read it people!

For Noy Telinú, I am the TEXT!


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